[Ash]

This 80's song always makes me smile:

Axe Murderer Song

Why do lovers park down deserted lanes
Near haunted houses or homes for the insane
Like the deformed son who was locked in a shed
Later escaped when he chopped off their heads

Why do axe murderers only attack
When you're partially nude
Or you're taking a bath
Though there are times I feel softer then most
Some days like yogurt
And some days like toast

Sorority girls and fraternity boys
Always deflowered if they're rich or they're spoiled
So we never feel bad when Aunt Betty who's dead
Surprises them lying on her wedding bed
When we're making love now I feel so exposed
Might you impale me or turn into those
Creatures that feed on the flesh of the living?
They hide in the corn between June and Thanksgiving.

Why do axe murderers only attack when we're making love?
Why do axe murderers only attack when you're partially nude
or taking a bath?

-Camper Van Beethoven