[massacre man]

*Illdojo and the creepy camp counselor, Kasey sit inside of the freshly blood-soaked cafeteria that was the scene of a grizzly murder/rape/suicide/carnival 100 years a go tonight*

Dojo: Listen babe, if we're gonna do anything, you think maybe we should toke up first, to give this a little, ya know, enhancement?

Kasey: Sure, do whatever makes you comfortable, I'm gonna go use the bathroom.

*Kasey gets up and walks out, Dojo pulls out a bong and inhales, he sits anxiously awaiting the lady he would soon be inside*

Dojo: Come on, it's not gonna suck itself.

Kasey: Just a minute!

*Kasey returns, with no pants, urine still dripping*

Kasey: You ready?

Dojo: Fuck yeah.

*Dojo lays back, Kasey walks over and slips his pants off, Dojo stares at the ceiling in anticipation*

Dojo: You know, this is my first time.

Kasey: Really? I don't believe that for a second

Dojo: Well it's true, whenever I would try the girls would call me weird and they all told me I smelled like weed and strawberries.

Kasey: I like strawberries.

Dojo: Well, thank God I found you.

*Zoom-in on Dojo's face*

Dojo: Finally, so this is what it's like to have sex, are you supposed to feel this dry down there?

*Dojo looks up, Kasey's skin is gone and she is just a skeleton, the haunting voices of several children is heard throughout the building, foldable chairs and tables start to close by themselves.*

Dojo: What the fuck? I'm not leaving here a virgin.

*Dojo wraps his arms around Kasey's skeleton, he rolls over on top of her, he kisses the skeleton on the lips and starts to make love to the corpse as the camera zooms out of the cafeteria, the last thing seen is the cafeteria doors slamming shut on their own*