I have found the New Messiah ! (or one of them anyway)
I, ferretchucker, forsee grave danger in the future. When the earth finally meets the planet of red, it wont be long before life is doomed by the people of the other worlds. The end will be unavoidable.
"I predict someone on this forum will have potatoes this week. This will set into motion the events that kill them".
Firstly , the word planet comes from the Greek , "planetes" meaning wanderer . The planets were seen to be wandering around the sun or "helios" .
The red planet is Mars which is seen to glow red in the sky (the red glowing one - that's Mars . The brown glowing one is Snickers)
"Martian" , "Martial" are related to the God of War , Mars .
So obviously the Earth is in grave danger . War is dangerous . Iron Oxide, red planet , blood iron , danger , alert , natural response to colour red . Also, at the bottom of our light spectrum, infra-red = heat . Represents fire , volcano , Vulcan (another God , where we get "Volcano" from, noted for his Blacksmithing skills) . Maker of WEAPONS .... War again .
Art of War .... ? To KILL ... so life is indeed in danger . Those fighting the war , and those living next door to Saddam Hussein's stand-in number 8 .
So these war-like martial-law expediating "wanderers" are endangering the planet ?
That's just pure insight, young Oracle !
Potatoes :
Carbohydrate and not much else .
Carbohydrate + Fat = American Diet , British Diet , Bad Diet .
Effects ...
Heart Disease , Death .
Skin of Potato ... when green, and uncooked contains toxins which are indeed deadly poisons , and some dumb fuck is sure to do it one day .
Congratulations , you have won a prize entry into our Profits Of Our Prophets & Oracles Organisation (you can call us P.O.O.P.O.O)
Are you the still(tobe)born bastard son of Robert Anton Wilson ?
Hail Ferretchucker !!!
Now I'm off to start an anti-potatoist peace cult , and if they ask who our leader is we shall all say in unison
Ferretchucker Ferretchucker , Mystic Manic Motherfucker,
Makes Haile Selasse look small , made him look about 4 feet tall,
And all the Illuminists are having a ball,
Cos we never ever listened to Ferretchucker the Wisest of them All
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