Screaming Children

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

Originally Posted by ChronoGrl

You can't laugh at this person's crazy?

http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/post/1...-my-kid-around

I thinks the only people who should be allowed to have babies are couples with super high iqs. having a baby without the required permit would land you in jail and the baby going up for adoption.

it kills two birds with one stone, over population and the kind of bull crap in that post.

[DeadKlown]

agreed but not to your standards...

[ChronoGrl]

Originally Posted by X¤MurderDoll¤X

I thinks the only people who should be allowed to have babies are couples with super high iqs. having a baby without the required permit would land you in jail and the baby going up for adoption.

it kills two birds with one stone, over population and the kind of bull crap in that post.

I have been saying that for years. You and me should team up.


My whole plan was that everyone is sterile from berth and you have to "earn" the right to procreate... At that point, the Man regains his sperm and the Woman her ovaries.

Either that or they always had their sperm/ovaries and they are simply "turned back on."

... In my utopic future.

[DeadKlown]

that would be a tad radical no?

[TheWickerFan]

Originally Posted by X¤MurderDoll¤X

I thinks the only people who should be allowed to have babies are couples with super high iqs. having a baby without the required permit would land you in jail and the baby going up for adoption.

it kills two birds with one stone, over population and the kind of bull crap in that post.

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

babies are my soup base, dark boys make it spicy.
babies are my soup base, a white one will do nicely.
my secret ingredient is here to stay
so all you little babies... better crawl away!

babies are my soup base, the ribcage is my top hat.
babies are my soup base, I'd like to see you top that!
many people have asked, what's the secret to your soup base.
well young man, it's infants like you, that give it it's taste!

[ChronoGrl]

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout.

I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration that of the hundred and twenty thousand children already computed, twenty thousand may be reserved for breed, whereof only one-fourth part to be males; which is more than we allow to sheep, black cattle or swine; and my reason is, that these children are seldom the fruits of marriage, a circumstance not much regarded by our savages, therefore one male will be sufficient to serve four females. That the remaining hundred thousand may, at a year old, be offered in the sale to the persons of quality and fortune through the kingdom; always advising the mother to let them suck plentifully in the last month, so as to render them plump and fat for a good table. A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter.

I have reckoned upon a medium that a child just born will weigh 12 pounds, and in a solar year, if tolerably nursed, increaseth to 28 pounds.

I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for landlords, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents, seem to have the best title to the children.

Infant's flesh will be in season throughout the year, but more plentiful in March, and a little before and after; for we are told by a grave author, an eminent French physician, that fish being a prolific diet, there are more children born in Roman Catholic countries about nine months after Lent than at any other season; therefore, reckoning a year after Lent, the markets will be more glutted than usual, because the number of popish infants is at least three to one in this kingdom: and therefore it will have one other collateral advantage, by lessening the number of papists among us.

I have already computed the charge of nursing a beggar's child (in which list I reckon all cottagers, laborers, and four-fifths of the farmers) to be about two shillings per annum, rags included; and I believe no gentleman would repine to give ten shillings for the carcass of a good fat child, which, as I have said, will make four dishes of excellent nutritive meat, when he hath only some particular friend or his own family to dine with him. Thus the squire will learn to be a good landlord, and grow popular among his tenants; the mother will have eight shillings net profit, and be fit for work till she produces another child.

Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require) may flay the carcass; the skin of which artificially dressed will make admirable gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen.