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#31
11-06-2007, 12:13 AM
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INT. GAS STATION BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS
As STEVE pleads with REBECCA, VINCENT hears SKYLAR’S taunting voice behind him. SKYLAR Uh-oh Vinnie baby looks like your about to be stumbled upon with a dead body and some drugs. VINCENT (facing his delusion) Shut the hell up it’s just two more fucking kids that I’ll just have to get rid of. SKYLAR Yeah, that’s right, you’re such a stone-cold killer. Correct me if I’m wrong Vince, but didn’t I do most of the work during our little “road trip”. VINCENT Showing a guy you’re tits so I could slit his throat doesn’t count, now shut-up, he’s coming. SKYLAR Kinda doubt he’ll hear me stud muffin, I’m you’re delusion, not his. VINCENT finds himself a hiding spot behind the door as STEVE walks in. Seeing SKYLAR’S corpse on the floor, STEVE looks around the bathroom, as he looks, the VINCENT comes out from behind the door, puts his left hand over STEVE’S mouth, muffling his screams. Before STEVE can fight back, VINCENT stabs him twice in the kidneys and ribs, STEVE’S blood oozes out of his mouth through Vince’s hand. As STEVE drops to his knees, VINCENT smiles a devilish grin and pushes STEVE’S body over. STEVE’S body hits the floor with a thud! VINCENT hears the door open. REBECCA Steve, are you alri.....AAAAHHHH! REBECCA’S screams are cut short as VINCENT slams her head into the door. SKYLAR Nice touch. You know, seeing you kill that guy reminded me why I wanted to run away with you in the first place. VINCENT Shut the hell up. You’re the one who ruined that. Fucking that beast of a man. I still can’t believe you would pick that lanky asshole over me. SKYLAR Vinnie? Shut up and kiss me. One last time……… VINCENT walks over to SKYLAR and begins to kiss her. CUT TO: REBECCA’S POV of VINCENT making out with nothing. Groggily, she gets to her feet and starts running towards her car scared. SKYLAR (whispering in Vince’s ear) Uh-oh darling, I think we got ourselves a rabbit. VINCENT Then I’ll skin it. EXT. GAS STATION - NIGHT Stepping out of the restroom, VINCENT hurls his knife, which embeds itself into REBECCA’S leg, making her collapse into a heap on the ground. Walking towards REBECCA’S prone form, VINCENT grabs the handle of his knife, pulls it out, and kicks her over onto her stomach, then leans down on her waist. REBECCA (crying) Please…please don’t kill me. VINCENT just stares at her dementedly. REBECCA (crying) I’ll do whatever you want just please don’t kill me. VINCENT Shhhhhh… VINCENT places a finger on top of REBECCA’S mouth. REBECCA (crying) Wh-why are you doing this? We didn’t see anything I swear! VINCENT You saw enough…… REBECCA I...I (she looks at the knife in Vincent’s hand.) I don’t want to die. VINCENT grins that devilish grin and the scene fades black. The sounds of struggling, a woman’s muffled cries are heard then repeated sounds of knife penetrating flesh. Her cries turn from shear fear to blood curdling. INT. CAR - NIGHT The scene fades back in to VINCENT driving in STEVE and REBECCA’S car. He reaches towards the CD player and turns the radio on. REPORTER We interrupt this station to bring you coverage on the Highway killings happening in Deptford, New Jersey. Two armed assailants are going down each and every highway in NJ and are killing a mass of people. The known number of victims is in the twenties and is rising. We have a description of the two that we will tell you right now. As they begin to describe the killers the camera cuts to SKYLAR’S dead body matching her description and then to VINCENT matching his. REPORTER (CONT.) These two people are known to be armed and dangerous. Any information on this story please call your local authorities. VINCENT smiles as he turns the radio off. The scene fades to black. INT. CHECK CASHING STORE - DAY The black screen fades back in to three missing person pictures seen on a wall. The three people shown are: STEVE, REBECCA, and SKYLAR. The camera pans down to a cashier counting money. A figure walks up to the window as the cashier continues to count. CASHIER (Continuing to Count) Can I help you? A hand slides a paper through the hole in the glass window. The cashier reads the paper. It is a check made out to STEVE JOHNSON. The cashier looks up to the man and it is revealed to be VINCENT. He smiles and the cashier begins to count out money. The cashier puts it into an envelope and hands it to the man. The cashier pauses a moment and then looks stunned, the cashier looks at the check and sees STEVE JOHNSON and then looks back at the missing person signs saying the same name. CASHIER Hey wait a minute! EXT. CHECK CASHING STORE - DAY **By this point VINCENT is gone. The camera pans from inside the building to the outside watching VINCENT’S car speed away into the sunlight.** FADE OUT:
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#33
11-06-2007, 11:43 AM
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Glad you really liked it. :)
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#34
11-06-2007, 12:39 PM
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The format is better, but I haven't given it a good read, I will when I can focus a bit more to give you my true opinion.
__________________
 Quote: Originally Posted by Phalanx Because you want his maggot ridden dick dontcha
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#35
11-06-2007, 12:59 PM
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the formatting helps a great deal. it's much easier to read.
the story doesn't really grip me, but it seems to be the story you want to tell and you should always stick with the story you want to tell.
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"Little, vicious minds abound with anger and revenge, and are incapable of feeling the pleasure of forgiving their enemies." Earl of Chesterfield "A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well." Francis Bacon
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#36
11-06-2007, 10:07 PM
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yay the line "here goes nothing" is gone
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stop the world - I want to get off 
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#37
11-07-2007, 12:42 AM
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Quote:
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#38
11-07-2007, 11:04 PM
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Gore, it grabbed my attention and kept it while I read, so that is awesome. My only dislike and loss of full submersion into the story (and this might change if you clarify it for me) is that I did not quite understand why Vincent (and Skylar) was/were killing so many people on the highways in the first place; I did not understand the reason behind it. Even if there was supposed to be no real reason, that was not made clear to me. Something always triggers someone to kill, right (whether mental unbalance or revenge or being a monsterish freak, etc.)? I got why he killed Skylar, but not everyone else prior to that.
Nice work!
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#39
11-08-2007, 01:31 AM
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Well, some of the best horror movies don't have explanations in them, they just throw you into whats going on. Think of..... Oh I dunno, The Shining (thanks btw), or Dawn of The Dead, Shaun Of The Dead(well, more comedy than horror... but you know). Thats one thing I like about his script. Hmmmmm but... I think that he should make it more personalized, it seems so un-personal.... maybe if he made the main character fat and bearded? :D
Gore, You know your like my second favorite person on here right? I just want you to know incase that made you mad.
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Quote:
Last edited by Psycom5k; 11-08-2007 at 01:34 AM.
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#40
11-08-2007, 04:20 AM
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yeah we look for explanations too much in films.... cant we just accept it for what it is and go along for the ride?
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