Halloween Safety Tips!

[Primo8998]

Halloween is coming soon, and it's never too early to practice these safe
tips. You may have seen this before, but here are some rules to keep you
safe on Halloween:

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if
it's really dead. It isn't.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement or attic, even if the power is out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language that they
should not know, shoot them immediately. Shooting them will save you much
grief in the long run; however, it will take several rounds to kill them,
so be prepared. This tip also applies to anyone who speaks with someone
else's voice.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off or go alone.

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This rule also
applies to any other house of the dead.

8. If you are searching for something that caused a loud noise and find
out that it was just the cat, get the hell out. Expeditiously.

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short
circuits. Again, get the hell out.

10. Do not take anything from the dead. No matter how much you like it,
it's bound to disagree with you sooner or later.

11. If you find a town that looks deserted, there's probably a good reason
for it. Don't stop and look around.

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know
what you're doing.

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at
least twice--more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that
despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling
along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior
such as hissing, fascination with blood, glowing eyes, increasing
hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are
listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Haddonfield, Transylvania, Nilbog
(you're in trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where
chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, and any small town in Maine,
Maryland, and Massachusetts.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to
the nearby deserted-looking house to use the telephone. If you think that
it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a
tank, shoot yourself in the head. You are going to die anyway and most
likely be eaten.

17. Beware of strangers bearing strange tools like chainsaws, staple guns,
hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawn mowers, butane
torches, soldering irons, and ice picks.

18. If you discover that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the
time to move in with the in-laws. This rule also applies to previous
inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible
fashion.

Happy Halloween!

[avenger00soul]

Nilbog is Goblin spelled BACKWARDS!!!!

[ChaoticMinister]

Hilarious.... just hilarious....

Nice observations!

*FADE OUT*