Last Seen Contemporary Movie

[Tommy Jarvis]

Final Destination 2 2003 ★★★

I went in needing to clear my head, not needing tothink about anything all that much. And this one delivered.

Decent popcorn fun with some hilariously gory kills. Also, death working backwards this time was a nice touch. My personal facvourites were the window kill and the barbecued arm.

The Dark Knight 2008 ★★★★★

You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

Do I really look like a guy with a plan?

I don't, I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, NO! No. You... you... complete me.

Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

You think you can steal from us and just walk away?
Yeah.

You can tell a classic from it's number of quotable lines. And this one sure has a few of them. Not in the least because of the delivery.

And I can never get enough of the scenes between Bale and Caine and Freeman.

Lost Lake 2012 ★

It helped my vocabulary. In a sense that I started looking up synonyms for boring to enjoy this annoyingly unscary flick. So I ended up with

a boring ghost story
bland characters
humdrum jump scares
platitudinous dialogue
drab delivery
an insipid finish
plastic acting (these days, plastic somehow sounds worse than wooden)

[Tommy Jarvis]

I See You 2019 ★★

A pretty unmemorable flick. At least, for me it was.

We follow a family in a town where a child abductor/pedophile/serial killer is supposed to be active, but apart from some bits near the end, we don't really see that much of him.

The storyline about the family strife and the infidelity feels shoehorned in and the squatter-like figures – or whatever it is they call themselves, I already forgot the name – are not all that captivating or likable.

It's all just a little too messy to really be captivating.

Machete Kills 2013 ★★★★

The sequel to the cult grindhouse flick Machete. It hints at a finishing part to this trilogy, but that one is still in development hell, nine years after the realease of this one.

You know perfectly what you're getting when you go in. This is cheesy, awesome B-movie fun at its best, with all the bells and whistles. And an ensemble cast a ot of other movies would envy. As an illustration: remember the reactions to Scream when Drew Barrymore gets killed two minutes in? There are so many people in this one that you quickly forget.

Oh yeah, and president Charlie Sheen. I'm sure some people saw this in 2013 and thought to themselves: yeah, right. How stupid do they think we are? And then you rewatch it in 2022 and go: oh... ouch.

You Might Be the Killer 2018 ★★★½

Wow. Is Fran Krantz making a career out of these Scream-like meta horror comedies? Would be kind of fun, actually. Any other anyone could recommend? Because I am digging these.

A good two thirds of this film takes place over the phone in a smart-ass/knowledgeable conversation with his best friend and the passing customers inclined to voice their opinion. And people call Jessica Fletcher a busybody.

It was funny, it got a few laughs out of me and it honored and respected the tropes of the slasher genre. And the Serena Williams-lookalike playing the love interest was kind of cool too.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Nope 2022 ★★★★★

From the very first shot – with what we later learn is Gordy – this film has you intrigued and hooked. A monkey covered in blood, crouching over the body of a woman and a single shoe of a child. What is going on? What happened to the child?

Jordan Peele chooses to focus on atmosphere, showing not that much of the monster until later in the story. And even then, you're left to guess. The “second monster” at the end... Is that an evolved version? An alien queen like the one we saw in Aliens?

This way, he leaves much up to the actors. And they deliver. Especially Daniel Kaluya shines here, showing his range. Between the smart, artistic Chris in Get Out and the somewhat gruff, quiet OJ, the difference is pretty big. I'm also a fan of Steven Yeun and based on his suit in the trailer, I was for some reason expecting an OTT character that borrowed from Nicholson's character in Mars Attacks. Thus providing the comic relief.

Here, however, he plays it straight, with sometimes a hint of insecurity in his body language and inflection. Leaving him looking like someone suffering from what we now call imposter syndrome. Although, as I am typing this, I also realize that it can symbolize fears of a minority person that I as a Caucasian cannot and probably will never fully comprehend.

Because we cannot discuss a Jordan Peele-movie without talking about symbolism and metaphors. Some look a bit on the nose, like “Run OJ run” or the fistbump between a bloody Gordy and young Jupe. I also wonder wether what happens next is a nod to Night of the living dead, but maybe I am looking too far. Because there is so much more. The story about their ancestor. The shot of Keke Palmer covered in those yellow crime scene lines. And the idea of the monster being “in the cloud”, which I consider a stroke of genius in times where a lot of people have a large chunk of, if not all of their lives in such a cloud.

I could knock out a few more paragraphs, but I will leave the rest of the images and metaphors for a rewatch.

Five stars across the board. Deserves to be in all top-5 lists for 2022.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Deep Blue Sea 1999 ★★

Between the action and the plot, pretty much everything in this film was dumb. Even the comic relief. LL Cool J and a bird that says "fat butt". It only works the first time. Not to mention that LL has a bad case of important characteritis. On the other hand, the Christophe Lambert lookalike is suitable for this stuff.

That said... if there is a God, then Samuel L Jackson should become immortal as a thank you for making the best of this.

Fun fact: this one and Final Destination both have a character named Carter. But one is not a dick.

[Tommy Jarvis]

The Found Footage Phenomenon 2021 ★★★★

What I appreciated most about this movie, was the completeness of it. Personally, I only missed the Dowdle brothers and Paco Plaza. But in the who's who in the genre portrayed, this really feels like nitpicking.

This serves both as a good introduction and as a continuation. The newbies get a detailed history of the genre, while more experienced viewers are still likely to pick up titles they had not seen before.

I also liked how, in spite of the (lack of) technology, it always comes down to the same things: good characters, a good story, pushing the envelope,...

Does this mean it was perfect? No.

For one, I did not really completely agree with the stance it took on budget and recognizable actors. Thus dismissing/disrespecting Joe Keery's performance in Spree.

Also, it seemed very focused on the directors' point of view. I would also like to have seen some of the actors, like Manuela Velasco or Joe Keery for that matter, talk about how they compare this style to some of their other work.

In closing, I would like to play Devils advocate for a second and throw one more stone in the puddle. Since a lot of found footage scripts are improvised, well... Imagine Robin Williams in a FF? We know he was a master at improvising and movies like One hour photo and Insomnia proved he could be scary. Put those things together and...

How's that for a what if? :-)

Limbo 2021 ★★★★

The good people at the Brussels International Fantastic Film Festival always seem to have a keen eye for good Asian films. This one is a Hong Kong cop movie about an investigation into a serial killer, who has the trademark of chopping off his victims' left hand.

The whole movie is filmed in black and white, adding to a bleak and somber atmosphere, not unlike Seven. Some shots literally reminded me of Mills and Somerset. Without getting into ripoff territory, though. The way Cham Lau got the Japanese migrant documents was reminiscent of Somerset's dealings with the library cards, but it never became on the nose or super obvious.

The actors do a very good job. I completely buy Ka-Tung Lam as the rough around the edges rogue cop with the troubled past. Especially since I saw a picture of him later that night that reminded me of Johnny Depp. Mason Lee sports a pair of glasses that give him a Clark Kent-like vibe. Which somehow fit the more by the book cop he portrays. More of a character in its own right. While Cham Lau has some small hints of David Mills here and there, the difference between Will Ren and Somerset could not be much bigger. And Yase Liu acted her ass off. There are only few scenes where she is not crying or running or being scared. Or taking punishment. Holy moly. In only two hours, she got beat up more than Alex Krycek in a whole season.

The movie has you immediately in, with good storytelling and keeps you there until the very end. I don't want to spoil it, so I will not get into it, but based on the comparisons you can imagine it will not be very joyous.

Four stars well deserved.

Bram Stoker’s Dracula 1992 ★★★

An overall enjoyable adaptation of Bram Stoker's classic novel. Which is not to say that it does have not flaws.

For one, I was not caught in the tone which somehow did not fit for me. One thing pulling me out was Keanu Reeves' attempts at a British accent. They are both adorable and hilarious at the same time. Gary Oldman shows his range as the classic count Dracula. Though sometimes a bit over the top for my liking. That said, his scenes with Winona Ryder are filled to the brim with sexual tension.

Studio 666 2022 ★★★½

Watching this with a rowdy crowd definitely helped. It got you in the right mood to enjoy this.

It is no masterpiece for the ages. Sometimes the pace sags a bit and you can tell that the band members are no natural born actors.

But it succeeds in being cartoonish fun and the kills more than deliver. And that's enough for me.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Prisoners 2013 ★★★★

Prisoners is a solid thriller about the kidnapping of two little girls.

It stars Hugh Jackman, but to be clear: the tough, heroic Wolverine is miles away. Here, he is a desperate father, willing to go all I spit on your grave on a mentally challenged fellow who is suspected of the crime. The other lead is Jake Gyllenhaal, in a good role as the empathic, obsessed cop. Remarkable and funny: Even in a dark(ish) thriller like this one, he manages to sneak in a little bit of boyish charm in his first scene.

Also, on a side note: the fact that a mentally challenged character is called Alex Jones... Is that funny or does that make me the victim of a government conspiracy? Maybe something in the tap water, lol.

The story is set up well and moves along at a good pace. Dropping little snippets of information every now and then to keep you invested, with among others a nice parallel between Jingle Bells and Camptown Races from The Stepfather. And whenever Alex says more than just yes or no, you better keep your ears open. Maybe they should have gone a bit more into the moral dilemma between the two fathers, but then it might have gotten cheesy.

The final reveal is good and the subsequent shooting are well done and Gyllenhaal rushing to the hospital is suspense orthy of Hitchcock. That said, the final scene with Anna's mother and the moment with the flute seem a bit force and perhaps even unnecessary. As a viewer, you already know that things will not end well for this character in some way shape or form. So why add these two scenes? Because the alternative would too bleak? Perhaps.

All in all a solid thriller/crime film. Worth a watch.

Ps: Completely unrelated, but if Hollywood does a Ravi Coltrane-biopic, Terrence Howard would be a good lead.

Creaturealm: Demons Wake 1998 ★

The lads over at OSW review would/could/should have fun with this, because it goes in the same bin as The Room, Fatal Deviation, Samurai Cop and other so bad they're good movies.

I lasted about 20-25 minutes before turning it off. The dialogue, the sets, the acting, the delivery,... everything looks like and is on the level of a poor porn parody. Even Wood Rocket pays more attention to detail.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Unfriended: Dark Web 2018 ★★★★

Now that it's on Netflix, I decided to squeeze in a rewatch. It was worth the time.

In all aspects, Unfriended: dark web is a step up from Unfriended.

It starts with a good idea and a good story. I not only like how they cast an actually deaf actress for the part of Amaya, but also how the characters use ASL to their advantage later in the film.

The villains are also better fleshed out than in part 1. With all due respect, but the whole Laura Barnes-thing is just rehashing a lot of the slashers from the eighties with a FF coat. Granted, the whole idea of this secret Spectre/Illuminati like organisation is perhaps not very original either, but at least it's more appealing.

One of the main things in these movies are the characters. In part 1, it's a group of total douchebags that - certainly on a rewatch - have you thinking "how are these people friends?". Here, they may not be supergreat either, but at least they are (more) believable as friends.

The kills look good, with the villains using all sorts of technology and hacking skills to their advantage. To this films credit: they managed to make the techno babble not sound all that much like techno babble and the exposition does not sound all that much like exposition. But if you're not into the story, I can also totally see how this stuff looks silly.

The climax is better than the one part 1 too, but fair is fair, the studio producing the first Unfriended also had a hand in that. Here, we get several possible endings with one being bleaker than the other. That said, it rounds the story off in a good way.

So in short: a very enjoyable horror movie centered around a nice concept. Not sure where they would go next without repeating themselves, but if Unfriended 3 ever comes up, I will be in for it.

Freaks Out 2021 ★★★½

Freaks out, a Belgian-Italian coproduction, is a lovely story about friendship, about overcoming hardship and about being there for your friends. Because that's what you do for the people you hold dear.

It plays during world war 2, which paves for the sort of nazi killing that would have Indiana Jones and Aldo Raynes nodding in agreement.

The four main characters have gifts that can serve as superpowers. But this movie has a lot more heart than the average superhero movie. Not to mention the fact this one has the amount of gore that will never get you close to a PG 13.

And if that does not convince you, it also features a unique version of Radioheads Creep.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Resident Evil 2002 ★★½

I went in with low expectations and the first twenty, thirty minutes were actually pretty good, with a nice zombie atmos and decent kills.

Then the main character gets the type of memory that's convenient for the screenwriter and it disintegrates into generic action territory with hot people doing badass stuff and a dull bad guy reveal. But the action bits are okay(ish) and badass Michelle Rodriguez is the best Michelle Rodriguez.

Speak No Evil 2022 ★★★★

A Danish and a Dutch couple meet while on holiday. They hit it off and the Dutch invite the Danes over for a visit, only for them to find out that their hosts are not all they are cracked up to be.

For me, this film delivered. I like how it builds up the atmosphere with the foreboding score inversely proportional to the amicality of the atmosphere between the couples. As the story progresses, it peels away layer after layer with Patrick and Karin becoming less and less friendly, slowly revealing their true nature and intentions. In that aspect, it's possible to see the dinner scene as a form of grooming with the mother's eye on the near future.

This is all about manipulation and social control by alpha people over beta people. About wolves in sheeps clothing. Slowly, but surely, the Dutch parents assert their dominance over the Danes, with the scene at he restaurant and everything after as a key element. That's where the Dutchies really gain the upper hand. Where they know, we can do pretty much anything to these saps and they will be too scared/polite/... to put up a fight, let alone present themselves as a worthy adversary.

Social media are filling up with people annoyed by the beta nature of the Danish parents – in large part to it being available on Shudder, thus reaching a bigger audience then the type of art house film theatre(s) where I saw it. Not only was it not entirely correct – the mother did want to run away quite quickly – it could also be counted as a testament to the Dutch couple and their cunningness. As one scene shows, they are experienced in this “game” and so they know by now how and where to pick their next victims. In my opinion, the only thing breaking that mold was actually the sex scene. Given their history, this couple would be more likely to drop everything passion related on a dime and attend to their daughter calling for them, especially knowing the situation they are in.

The gory scene that everybody talks about, delivers on the intensity and eeriness. I went into the film a bit sceptical – what with all the “the scariest movie you will see this year” yadda yadda I have seen in the past on Netflix, social media,... Birdbox being the main culprit that comes to mind, but there are others as well. Only to end up thinking: wow, they really went there.

To me, this is the point where whatever is left of the spirit in the Danes breaks, allowing for a rather cruel closing sequence and ditto final shot of Bjorn and Louise. With an exchange reminiscent of an infamous dialogue in The Strangers: Why are you doing this? Be cause you were home/because you let us. Same scariness, same cruel, lackadaisacal delivery. Visually, the shot looks good, but it does make Patrick and Karin look a bit sloppy, which does not fit with their seemingly meticulous MO.

Well recommended, especially for fans of slow burns.

To be avoided by people going in a with a state of mind that says “I want it to make sense (ie (seemlessly) fit in my personal logic)”

The Purge: Anarchy 2014 ★★★

The second part of The Purge series is a step up from part 1 in that it delves more into the actual phenomenon of the purge, rather than focus on just one family.

We are slowly introduced to a variety of characters who somehow end up together towards the end of the first act. A struggling woman who not only has to take care of her daughter, but also of her ailing father. Thus allowing for a slight bit of Medicare commentary. There's a couple breaking up, but not really. And badass Frank Grillo on a revenge plot to avenge the death of his son. I understand how it needs this time to set things up and introduce everyone, but it somehow looks a tad bit messy, even on a rewatch.

Like I said, this one goes into the various aspects of The Purge a bit more, with quite a bit of social commentary. About how the poor dread this night and do all they can to survive and how the rich breeze through it and use their wealth to both stay safe and still purge. Best exemplified in the subplot where the father “sells” himself so that rich people can kill him 100.000 dollars in the safety of their home. Or the bit towards with a bit of a Running Man/Hunger Games-ish spectacle. It also allows for more elaborate kills and awesome shots like the Gatlin gun in the back of the truck.

Which, now that I think about it, raises an interesting question: Would the purge inadvertantly create a new market there? For example, for upper middle class people to buy/rent a condo in non purging countries like Canada or Mexico. Might make for a subplot with a lower middle class character saving for such a condo.

I also like how this one takes us outside more, showing how the danger can come from literally everywhere and at any time, even in the wee hours before the commencement.

As mentioned, Frank Grillo wants to kill the man who killed his son. An understandable state of mind and the type of quest you would probably see more often if the purge were to be an actual annual tradition. At least, there is more to it than to the type of petty killing a lot of people would stupe to during a purge. Like the colleague who got the promotion you were vying for, or the woman taking your favorite parking spot the day before the purge. And people with relationship issues? You might want to put off breaking up for a few days or even weeks.

And of course, there is the anti purge movement which, compared to The Purge: Election Year, is still pretty much in the background. Only to really pop up towards the end. Allowing (albeit unintentionally) for Election Year to improve on that.

Nothing all too mindblowing, but it makes for a decent sequel.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Halloween: A Cut Above the Rest 2003 ★★★½

A pretty comprehensive documentary in which all parties involved discuss all aspects of the classic Halloween.

Not just the making of, but also the history behind and where they got the inspiration for certain ideas. It's entertaining and it looks like even the big Halloween die hards will pick up one or two tiny tidbits they did not know before.

And it's available on Youtube. Check it out.

The Tunnel 2011 ★★★½

The Tunnel is a pretty decent Australian found footage/mockumentary about a newsteam researching a story on homeless people who supposedly live in a vast network of tunnels under the Sidney trainstations. Vast in this case even sounding a tad euphemistic at times.

One thing that the movie definetily had going for itself were the characters. They looked credible as good colleagues/friends, without resorting to bickering or the trope of the group falling apart. The banter between Pete, Steve, Nat and Tangles makes them (a lot) more likable than the average FF character. Making you care for them more when things go awry.

The scares were built up well, the jump scares benefited from good execution and timing. Not overdone, well timed. Good stuff. And the ending is also a nice break from the mould.

To me, it's not up there with VHS 2 or such, but if you are a fan of the genre, it's well worth a watch.

[Amaltheaunicorn2023]