HDC The Movie I, II, IV, V & VI - by Massacre Man

[massacre man]

Massacre Man helps __V__ off of the table

__V__: How did you change back?

Massacre Man: Change back from what?

__V__: A werewolf.

Massacre Man: What the fuck are you talking about?

__V__: I saw a werewolf with your initials.

Massacre Man (casually shrugging his shoulders): Wasn't me.

__V__: Hmm, get Hammerfan out of here.

Massacre Man: Fuck you, I'm not leaving.

__V__: But you have to get her out of here.

Massacre Man: No I don't, I don't even know her. Fuck if I'm gonna miss this.

The werewolf __V__ had spotted with the initals M.M. enters the room, it has a scar leading from it's stomach up to it's chest. Massacre Man and __V__ look at it, Massacre Man snaps to a conclusion.

Massacre Man: Was that the wolf you thought was me?

__V__: Yeah...

Massacre Man: I know who that is!

__V__: Who is it?

Massacre Man: This girl I met in the woods.

__V__: How do you know that?

Massacre Man: Because of this.

Massacre Man runs over and tears the scar on the wolf's stomach, it's intestines and stomach fall out onto the ground. It falls face-down. Massacre Man walks back to __V__

Massacre Man: So, where are the other people you were with?

__V__: That's one of them.

__V__ points to Hammerfan

__V__: I don't know about the other two.

Massacre Man: So that's the only person we have to worry about?

__V__: Disease is somewhere and I saw a cop too.

Massacre Man: Yeah, I saw a cop too.

__V__: Hammerfan, come on. We're gonna find everyone else and get you guys out of here.

Hammerfan remains on the table.

Massacre Man: I don't think she's going to listen.

__V__: Why?

Massacre Man: She's missing half of her fucking skull, she's probably legally retarded now.

__V__: Alright, you grab one arm, I'll grab the other.

__V__ and Massacre Man take Hammerfan and exit the room to find Disease and Ferretchuker. As soon as they exit Marya and Tic begin to transform.

[massacre man]

__V__ and Massacre Man make their ways around the mansion in search of the others, they search all of the rooms until they come across one with a giant lock on it, Fortunato can be heard moaning inside. Massacre Man begins smashing in the lock, __V__ keeps lookout, while he has his back turned one of the werewolves tries sneaking up on Massacre Man, it is directly behind him when the gun backfires sending Massacre Man's last shot through the head of the wolf,

Massacre Man: Holy shit, that was lucky...

__V__: Yeah...

Massacre Man and __V__ stare at the body for a moment before hearing the next wolf making it's way toward them, they snap back to attention and Massacre Man takes another swing. The lock comes undone, the two walk inside. Disease is tied to a beam coming from the middle of the room hardly conscious, Ferretchucker is tied to a chair with his eyelids sliced off facing a mirror, his head is held securely so he can't turn away, he is stuck staring at his deformed reflection, Fortunato is on the floor with his hands and feet tied as if Neverending didn't get the chance to do anything to him. __V__ pulls out 3 syringes

Massacre Man: Is that the stuff you used on me?

__V__: Yeah.

Massacre Man: Cool...

The other wolf from the table bursts in through the door and pins Massacre Man to the ground, __V__ leans Hammerfan on the wall and grabs the gun from Fortunato and holds it at his side

__V__ (at the werewolf: Hey buddy, I got somethin' for ya.

__V__ shoots the werewolf in the head, it falls over, Massacre Man stands up.

Massacre Man I owe you another one.

__V__: I'll remember that.

__V__ unties Fortunato, Massacre Man unties Ferretchucker and Fortunato stands up and gets Disease. Massacre Man takes his keys out and hands them to Fortunato.

Massacre Man: Here, my van's outside, get everyone out of here.

Fortunato: What about you two?

Massacre Man: Don't worry about us, we've got it under control.

__V__ (laughing): That was really cheesy.

Massacre Man: I know.

Cut to a few moments later, everyone is downstairs, Disease seems a bit more responsive and is holding Ferretchuker up, Fortunato is holding Hammerfan, they are right next to the exit, __V__ opens it, Ferretchucker pulls out his gun and shoots himself in the head. Everybody stands in an awkward silence, Massacre Man inches toward the body, he picks up the gun and pockets it.

__V__ (Stunned and unfocused): Go...

Fortunato and Disease walk out with Hammerfan, __V__ immediately slams the door behind them. Fortunato and Disease exit the gate through the pummeling rain, massive thunder, and blinding lightning and get to the van, which has had it's tires slashed and is covered in various scratches and bite marks

[massacre man]

Fortunato and Disease try to figure out an escape plan, dozens of glowing green eyes can be seen approaching him as leaves crunch and twigs snap. The two toss Hammerfan into the back of the van and then climb in after her, they close the doors and start discussing their options. Only their faces can be seen from the dim light given off by the moon shining into the windows on the back doors of the van

Fortunato: Ok, what do you think out odds will be if we run?

Disease: We'll get eaten.

Fortunato: How about if we fight.

Disease: We'll get eaten.

Fortunato: What do you think our odds are if we just sit here and hope for the best?

Disease: A lot better than being out in the open.

Fortunato: But what if help never comes?

Disease: I don't know, but I'm not going out there.

Lightning flashes, lighting up the entire van, there are several weapons scattered about on the wallof the van behind Disease, including a baseball bat, Massacre Man's trusty axe, a fire extinguisher, a chainsaw, and a handful of wooden stakes, Fortunato smiles, Disease looks at him with a strange look

Disease: What are you looking at?

Fortunato: That guy came prepared!

Disease: Who? __V__? He always is.

Fortunato: No, the fat one.

Disease: What makes you say that?

Fortunato pulls out his flashlight and shines it next to the wall, a few of the weapons are visible. Disease turns his head and looks at them.

Disease: Since you found them, you can go fight...

Fortunato: No problem.

Fortunato grabs the trusty axe and exits the van, Disease closes the doors to the van and starts it, turning on a blinker so he can see what's happening through the window of the door. He watches one of the wolves run at Fortunato who swings the axe only to have it lodge into the shoulder of the wolf who then runs off with it, Fortunato stands frightened as the wolves form a circle around him slowly getting closer and closer.

[massacre man]

__V__ and Massacre Man head back to the room in which they had seen Austin before, but he was gone. They search the rooms in the house and find nothing, they hear some stomps and growls coming from the attic of the old mansion, the two head toward the attic. They stand under the pull-down stairs, __V__ has his hand on the string ready to pull the stairs down.

__V__: Ready?

Massacre Man: Hold on...

Massacre Man picks up his shotgun so that he is holding his gun in one hand and Ferretchuker's in the other.

Massacre Man: Now I'm ready.

__V__: What's that for? It's not loaded.

Massacre Man: But still, it's a lot more intimidating to have a big fucking shotgun and a gun stolen off the corpse of a suicidal cop than just a gun stolen off the corpse of a suicidal cop.

__V__: Fine...

__V__ drops the stairs, the two walk up and peak around, they see nothing but an old table.

Massacre Man: There isn't anything up here.

A pair of glowing eyes open in the corner behind the two.

__V__: I guess you're right.

The wolf lets out a howl that echoes through and outside of the mansion. Cut to Fortunato surrounded by the wolves, they hear the howls and run toward the mansion so quickly they just look like blurs, after they're all gone Fortunato smiles in relief and starts walking back toward the van, another quick blur passes by in front of him, after the blur goes past him, Fortunato is holding his hand over his throat, Disease gets out and runs over to him.

Disease: What happened?

Fortunato moves his hand to reveal a huge slit in his throat spewing blood, Fortunato falls to his knees and lands face-down in the mud, Disease turns to get back into the van but the doors have swung shut and locked. Cut back to __V__ and Massacre Man, werewolves are surrounding them, there are a good 20 or so wolves. __V__ quickly empties his gun killing 5 of them with 6 bullets, Massacre Man manages to kill 2 with the same amount of bullets.

Massacre Man: You're so much better than me at this.

__V__: I know.

Massacre Man spots the wolf with the axe in it's shoulder. Massacre Man hits in the head with the shotgun and then picks up the axe, he decapitates the wolf and moves on swinging away at others, while his back his turned the final wolf charges at him, __V__ grabs the wolf's legs at just the right time and pulls it back away from him, breaking the wolf's legs, it turns around and bites __V__ on the arm, shoulder, and neck. Massacre Man takes off it's head.

Massacre Man: Are you alright?

__V__: Not really, no.

Massacre Man: Aren't you gonna use some of that shit that keeps you from changing?

__V__: All out.

Massacre Man: Shit...

__V__: Hey, listen. I'll be back.

Massacre Man: What?

__V__: I got something I have to do.

Massacre Man: What's that?

__V__: Don't worry about it.

__V__ looks and acts considerably weaker and slower, he stands up, grabs his duffle bag and leaves the attic.

Massacre Man: So... am I supposed to wait here?

__V__: If you want.

Massacre Man: Wait, what the fuck does that mean?

__V__ is already out of hearing range.

Massacre Man (to himself): Shit...

Massacre Man hears that all too familiar sound.

Massacre Man: Fuck...

Massacre Man picks up his axe as Zero runs for him, Massacre Man jumps out of the way and swings the axe, he misses, he and Zero keep repeating this pattern, Zero begins using the ceiling too, Zero sneaks up behind Massacre Man and stands still, almost as if he is waiting for Massacre Man's attention. Massacre Man quickly turns around and throws the shotgun at Zero, Zero evades it and jumps back toward the stairs, __V__ grabs him by the tail and tosses him at Massacre Man, Massacre Man then swings the axe, hitting Zero and sending him slamming against the wall with a gash in his side.

Massacre Man: Thanks...

__V__: I'll put on your tab.

__V__ winks, the two grin when the stop awkwardly.

Massacre Man: Did you just feel a breeze?

__V__: Yeah, that was kind of weird.

Austin's laugh can be heard through the attic, a wolf much bigger and more human-like than the others is standing behind Massacre Man holding the old table, it swings it sending Massacre Man flying through the wall and out of sight, the wolf tosses the table to the side.

__V__: So, just me and you?

The wolf lunges forward, __V__ punches it, the punch does nothing. Austin picks up __V__ and stares him in the face, snarling and breathing heavy. __V__ kicks it, landing on the ground, __V__ picks up the leg of the table and jabs it into the stomach of Austin, he then pulls it out and drops the duffle bag on the ground, he stuffs his final stick of dynamite into Austin's stomach, Austin picks up Zero again and starts to chew on his stomach, tearing his innards out. __V__ sighs in relief and pushes a button that came out of the dufflebag, a shot of the exterior of the mansion, Disease can be seen in the shot. The mansion explodes sending bits of the house flying everywhere, one smashes into the top of the van bending the doors enough to make them openable. Disease gets Hammerfan out and watches the house burn.

Cut forward to morning time, the rain has stopped, things seem peaceful. A close-up of Massacre Man's face covered in blood from a small wound on the sie of his head, his eyes open, a zoomout reveals him to be dangling by his jacket on one of the ridges from the hole the police had fallen into the previous night.

Massacre Man: Holy shit. I made it again. I made it again!

Disease shows up and helps Massacre Man up, he sees the charred house.

Massacre Man: Did __V__ ever come out?

Disease shakes his head.

Massacre Man approaches the rubble of the building.

Massacre Man: So long buddy, I'll miss ya.

Massacre Man and Disease stand next to the van.

Disease: I got a ride coming, you need one?

Massacre Man: No, I did what I had to, I'll walk.

Disease: You sure?

Massacre Man: Yeah, I've learned something over the past few days. Whenever I drive bad shit happens.

Massacre Man turns and starts to walk away, a car arrives, Disease puts Hammerfan in the back and gets in, the car drives off, a shot from the dashboard, the man driving is focused on the road, Disease has his head back on the seat sleeping, Hammerfan is transforming into a wolf herself. The last shot is of Zero returning to his cave.

CREDITS ROLL


After the credits, Massacre Man, __V__, Illdojo, Roderick Usher, and Zero are seen all surrounded by Jack-O-Lanterns with smiles on their faces, with no wounds, they are sitting at a table with a giant pile of candy in the middle of it splitting it up into equal piles when they all look at the camera and shout.



HAPPY HALLOWEEN HDC!

[massacre man]

HDC THE MOVIE - PART VI

Massacre Man stands outside of an old run-down house on a dark night, he has his trusty axe over his shoulder, he seems determined as he steps toward the house with a heavy breeze passing by blowing the fallen leaves about and making the trees sway. Massacre Man enters the house, it's dark but the room is still visible, he walks around the house and hears footsteps, he turns several times attempting to find the footsteps until he sees __V__ walking toward from across the room but his face is pale, his hair is black, and he has several cuts and scrapes on him. Massacre Man starts to step back, he backs into Illdojo who is the same as __V__, Massacre Man swings the axe, it just goes through Illdojo, not harming him at all. Massacre Man makes his way down a hall but is met by Roderick Usher. Illfojo and __V__ enter the hall and start inching toward him, Massacre Man hacks away at the wall and leaps out, when he lands on his feet he is suddenly back in the living room, his 3 dead friends suttound him and they all grab onto him. Cut to Massacre Man waking up realizing it was a dream, he is sitting in the back of a pick-up truck which suddenly stops, Massacre Man stands up and hops out of the back, reaches back into the bed of the truck and pulls his axe out, he walks to the cab and polks his head in the window to thank the driver.

Massacre Man: Thanks for the lift

The truck drives off, Massacre Man turns around and starts walking he has dried blood all over his body and is covered in various cuts and scrapes, limping a bit, he arrives at a sign and looks at it, it reads "WELCOME TO SHADY SIDE" Massacre Man smiles.

Massacre Man: Finally...

Massacre Man begins to walk into the town.

[massacre man]

Massacre Man walks down the main road of the town looking at the small gas stations and convenience stores that litter it. He makes a right and enters a neighborhood, the houses he passes are all nice, two-story houses with in-ground swimming pools and large yards surrounded by trees, after a few moments he takes a left, the houses here are closer together, but they're still pretty nice, there is an abandoned house that looks exactly like the one from Massacre Man's dream, he stops and stares at it for a second then shakes his head and moves on, he makes a right onto a street with a sign reading "Grove Street", he stops at a blue one-story house, he walks up the stairs in front and turns the knob on the door, it's locked, Massacre Man sighs.

Massacre Man: Left the keys in the fucking van.

Massacre Man looks over and spots that one of the front windows is opened slightly, he grins and walks over to it, punches a hole in the screen and tears it out from the window, he slides the window open and pulls himself inside, he closes the window and reaches to the table left of him and turns on the lamp, he turns and looks at his living room, it isn't very well-kept there are issues of SPIN and Fangoria magazines with several old Tales From The Crypt comic books on top of them, the TV has a stack of horror and comedy DVDs on top, Massacre Man sits on his couch, something can be heard moving in another room, Massacre Man smiles when he hears the sound, a black lab walks out and jumps on the couch and lays down next to him, Massacre Man pats the dog on the head.

Massacre Man: Good girl.

Massacre Man leans over and picks up the remote for the TV and turns it on. The TV narrator's voice can be heard.

Narrator: And that's it for our Tales From The Crypt marathon! Up next is our Uwe Boll marathon!

Massacre Man: FUCK!

Massacre Man throws the remote at the wall and it breaks in half, the sound of glass breaking can be heard in the room the dog came from, Massacre Man quickly stands up and grabs his axe, he eases toward the room and looks inside.

[massacre man]

Massacre Man enters the room, it is dark, he reaches up for the ceiling fan and turns on the light, a man is laying on the bed with his eyes closed, a beer bottle is broken on the ground, Massacre Man taps his shoulder, he wakes up.

Massacre Man: What are you doing in Roderick's room?

Dudeman: My mom was being a bitch so I came to stay here.

Massacre Man: How did you get in?

Dudeman: The side door.

Massacre Man: How did you get in the side door, I locked it.

Dudeman: I owe you a new doorknob... Where are Rod and Dojo?

Massacre Man: They di... moved out.

Dudeman: But they left their stuff.

Massacre Man: Yeah... weird, huh?

Dudeman: Yeah. Rod's fiance is gonna be pissed tomorrow.

Massacre Man has a sudden shocked look on his face

Massacre Man: Shit... I fucking forgot about that.

Dudeman: How? You were gonna be the best man.

Massacre Man: I've had a lot of shit going on.

Dudeman: What shit? You went to look at some shitty camp site.

Massacre Man: Just... a lot of shit.

Dudeman: Oh...

Dudeman stares off into space then looks back at Massacre Man

Dudeman: You got any beer?

Massacre Man: There's some in the mini-fridge in Illdojo's room, take all of it.

Dudeman gets up and walks out of the room and goes toward one with a closed door, he shouts back.

Dudeman: You're sure he won't be pissed that I'm taking it?

Massacre Man: I don't think he'll care.

Illdojo appears again haunting Massacre Man

Illdojo: Asshole...

Massacre Man ignores him. Dudeman comes back out with a beer in hand.

Dudeman: So, does Rod's fiance know he left?

Massacre Man: Nope.

Dudeman: Are you gonna tell her?

Massacre Man: Yeah, I guess.

Dudeman: When?

Massacre Man: I guess tomorrow.

Dudeman: So you're gonna wait until she's in the dress and at the end of the aisle with that bright smile on her face?

Massacre Man: Well, I don't know where she lives.

Dudeman: Then you should... let's go outside, I wanna smoke a cigarette.

Massacre Man and Dudeman walk out the door and sit on the steps, Massacre Man's neighbor, Jenna26 is outside checking her mail. She sees Massacre Man and shouts over to him.

Jenna26: Hey there!

Massacre Man: Hi.

Jenna26: So, are you ready for the big day tomorrow?

Massacre Man looks puzzled

Massacre Man: How did you know about Rod's wedding?

Jenna26: I was talking about Halloween, Rod's getting married?

Massacre Man: Kinda.

Jenna26: He would set the date on Halloween...

[massacre man]

Jenna26 returns inside of her house, it is extemely well-kept, she walks to the kitchen which is located on the side on the side of the house furthest from Massacre Man's, there is a door leading outside in the kitchen, Jenna pours herself a glass of water and walks out of the kitchen, the house next door can be seen through the door amd a man is watching her from a window in that house, he has a devlish grin on his face, cut back to Massacre Man and Dudeman back inside of Massacre Man's house

Massacre Man: So... are you staying here tonight?

Dudeman: Yeah, is that cool?

Massacre Man: Sure, I'm going to bed now, so... TV's yours. Good night.

Dudeman: Peace man.

Massacre Man walks to his bedroom, the dog follows, when Massacre Man enters his room, it is too dark to see anything in his room, he gets on the bed and the dog gets up with him, Massacre Man shortly falls asleep after laying down, he is having a dream again, it is black and white with no sound. Massacre Man is now in the garage of the abandoned house, a oaint can falls in front of him, he leaps back and notices the paint can fall through the floor leaving waves almost like the floor was made of water. Massacre Man sticks his hand in the spot where the can fell, his hand goes through the floor, when he pulls it up his hand is covered in blood, another hand reaches up and pulls him underneath, he is in a big pool of water being pulled down __V__ who is gushing blood from his stomach area, Massacre Man pulls himself loose and swims back up to the top but the top is solid and he is stuck inside, he looks around and notices that the bodies of Illdojo and Roderick Usher are floating against the ceiling, Massacre Man starts to bang on the solid roof over him but nothing happens, when he looks back down __V__ is coming toward him quickly with his hand out. Massacre Man wakes up in his bed covered in sweat, it is morning, the dog is looking at him.

Massacre Man (frustrated): Shit... I cannot keep doing this.

[massacre man]

Massacre Man sits up and looks at his clock, it is 6:34 AM, he puts his head in his hands and puts his head back in the pillow.

Massacre Man (To himself): The wedding's in 10 hours!

Massacre Man gets up and walks out into the living room, their are beer bottles scattered all over the floor, Massacre Man looks around and then turns back into the hallway, he slides the door to Roderick's room open and then walks to Illdojo's, he opens it and sees Dudeman asleep on his bed. Massacre Man walks back out into the living room and then to the kitchen, he goes into a small closet on the right side of the kitchen, he picks up a black Hefty garbage bag, goes back to Illdojo's room and nudges his shoulder, Dudeman doesn't get up, Massacre Man then kicks him which makes him sit up.

Massacre Man: Clean your fucking mess up.

Dudeman: What?

Massacre Man: You left a bunch of fucking beer bottles on my floor, clean them up.

Dudeman: You do it, I got a hangover.

Massacre Man reaches over and raises the blinds, letting the sun pour in, Dudeman covers his eyes.

Dudeman: What the fuck, man? I said I had a hangover.

Massacre Man: And I said pick up the fucking bottles.

Dudeman: Dude, you're starting to act like my mom.

Massacre Man: Does that mean you're gonna leave?

Dudeman: Fine, I'll go, fuck you man.

Dudeman gets up and stumbles to the door, he opens it and walks out, Massacre Man starts to pick up all of the bottles, cut to Dudeman outside walking past Jenna26's house covering his eyes, he doesn't even notice Jenna's neighbor from the otherside standing right outside of her window watching her.

[massacre man]

Massacre Man steps outside and tosses the bag of bottles into the trash can and returns inside, his dog runs out to him and looks up at him wagging it's tail

Massacre Man: What is it, girl?

The dog starts to jump up and down.

Massacre Man: You gotta go potty?

The dog runs to the side door and hops up and down again, Massacre Man reaches for the doorknob, it is on the floor because of Dudeman, Massacre Man opens the door and the dog runs outside, Massacre Man turns back around and goes back to his room, he stands over his bed.

Massacre Man (Tired and to himself: Let's try this again.

Massacre Man lays down and falls asleep, he has another silent, black and white dream, this time he is in the bathroom of the abandoned house, the shower is running, steam pouring out, Massacre Man tries to exit the room but as soon as he reaches for the doorknob it vanishes and the doorway just becomes another part of the wall. Massacre Man is beginning to sweat, he can't see anything due to the steam surrounding him, suddenly the shape of a person begins to form in front of him, it is Illdojo, Massacre Man backs toward the door and the room morphs to a bedroom, he is standing by the bed, a hand grabs his foot and pulls him under the bed, as soon he gets pulled under he is in a small, dark space, a light turns on and he is cramped into a closet against the wall face-to-face with __V__ who is leaned against the door. Massacre Man then wakes up again, sweating. He looks at the clock, it reads 4:30. Massacre Man behins to panic.

Massacre Man: FUCK!

He gets up and rushes around, he grabs a suit out of his closet, he puts it on his bed then stops.

Massacre Man: Wait... should I wear a suit?

Cut to the backyard, the dog is sitting on the steps waiting to come inside, Massacre Man opens the door in full suit, his hair is wet like he had just showered. He walks out of the door then stops.

Massacre Man: That's fucking great, no fucking van.

Massacre Man rushes down the street going the same path Dudeman did, he is in such a hurry he doesn't notice Jenna's neighbor is now staring through the front window. Cut to Dudeman sitting inside of his house watching the History Channel. There is a knock at his door. He gets up and opens it, Massacre Man is standing outside.

Massacre Man: I need to use your car.

Dudeman: Fuck you.

Massacre Man: Please, I'll buy you beer, pot, whatever. I have to get to this fucking wedding.

Dudeman: I need my car.

Massacre Man: You don't have a license.

Dudeman: My mom's bitching at me right now.

Massacre Man: Your mom isn't home, just give me the fucking keys.

Dudeman: Fuck you, you kicked me out of your house.

Massacre Man: You can move in, you can have Illdojo's room. Just give me the fucking keys.

Dudeman: Is the reception open bar?

Massacre Man: I think so... yeah.

Dudeman: Alright, let's go.

Massacre Man and Dudeman get into a very small car, Massacre Man drives to a nice, well-kept church, they walk inside and sit in the seats, there is nothing going on, everyone looks frustrated and impatient, Illdojo and Roderick Usher appear in the seats behind them, Freak walks over and sits next to Massacre Man and Dudeman, he is wearing the same suit as Massacre Man.

Freak: This is some crazy shit, huh?

Massacre Man (Curious): What's that?

Freak: The bride and the groom being no-shows.

Roderick Usher: At least I had a reason...

Massacre Man (To Roderick): Maybe she had one too...

Dudeman and Freak: What?

Massacre Man: Nothing.

Freak: Ok so, we've got the Groom's men, you, me, and Angra. But where's Illdojo?

Massacre Man: I have no idea...

Dudeman: Maybe they ran off with eachother.

Massacre Man hits Dudeman in the chest.

Massacre Man: Don't be a dick.

Angra stands up in front of the group of people.

Angra: Ok folks, news I hate to break, but... both the bride and groom are no-shows. There's another wedding soon booked for today, so we're gonna have to ask that everyone leaves.

The people stand up and begin to exit, the bride's maids are still in the back room where they were waiting to be brought out. The first one exits, cut to Massacre Man with Dudeman and Freak

Freak: Stay here, wait for Angra.

Massacre Man nods, he looks forward, his eyes widen and his jaw drops. Dudeman notices.

Dudeman: What?

Massacre Man: I think I did that...

Dudeman: Did what?

Massacre Man: That...

Massacre Man points to the front of the room, revealing the last bride's maid leaving to be pregnant.