Old Today, 10:49 AM
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Bloof Bloof is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Stuck in the 80's..
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Morning, I feel that you're grandfather was raised in a different time and a different way. No surprise there. But somehow from what you said, i feel he loves you because he "does right" by you. Thats his way of showing love. But if you feel you want to move on then go for it. Be cordial if they do contact you but dont initiate any contact.
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Old Today, 10:58 AM
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Sculpt Sculpt is offline
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: USA, IL
Posts: 4,839
Originally Posted by Morningriser View Post
Can I ask you guys a question and get some feedback? Am I wrong for closing that chapter of my life? Since moving here eight months ago I have progressed so much internally. It's not just from the drugs, it's just getting a loan and having to rely on myself 100%. I was scared to be alone at first but now I treasure this time because I have grown so much in such a short amount of time that it is so astonishing that the human brain can do this. I have a long way to go before I would consider myself fully 100% comfortable with who I am but I am well on my way there. I guess I just felt guilt for telling my grandpa how I feel like he has treated me or along with the rest of the family and I told him that I just can't do this anymore because they make me feel like I should be ashamed of who I am, or what I like even.
Are the grandparents you're referring to your dad or mom's parents?

Yes, you would be wrong to cut your grandfather off. No question. He's family, and it doesn't sound like you have a ton of family. You know one person can't be everything for you. Everybody has their deficits. It's not unusual that a grandfather doesn't want to talk about feelings, or in particular doesn't want to engage you when he thinks you're complaining. He likely finds a personal rock in family duty, that's motivating and precious to him, and he'd like to instill that in you. He might not have much 'feelings' talk in him, it's hard to know what people have and what's really difficult for them, just believe he does what he can, he's shown you he loves you, he's helped you out, don't allow yourself to see him as not good enough, that would be hypocritical of you, something you've accused him and your grandma doing to you. Were all just people.

And actually, you're forgetting something, it's their job to be 'parental/disciplinary/critical' to you, especially since they know your parents aren't there for you. You on the other hand don't have an obligation to be 'parental' to them. Your family duty to them is upcoming, when they are going to need family to watch out for them in their old age.

If your grandpa doesn't want to talk about feelings, or about you talking about hardship, that's fine, that's not his area. Instead, talk to him about the positive things, the positive changes, things you've achieved and are thinking about achieving. This might be his area, he might have a lot to share with you in that area. Great time to try it out.

Last edited by Sculpt; Today at 11:03 AM.
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Old Today, 12:27 PM
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Morningriser Morningriser is online now
wubba lubba dub dub!
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
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Originally Posted by Sculpt View Post
Yes, I can address the neckbeard thing. I first ran into it when a couple of online forum Bears fans derogatorily called the QB Kyle Orton 'neckbeard'. Personally, I don't think it's something dudes would bother talking about each other. There's evidently a customary way to cut the beard which ends at the bottom or underneath the jaw line and no hair on the neck. In this, hair on the neck would be considered unkempt, disheveled... something unintended and disregarded. It's not that hair on the neck can't be a grooming choice, it wouldn't be a common one, but there you go.

What did you do that with? It's really good. I like it.
Photoshop haha. I wish I could paint stuff like that but I've never been good at it. I've always been decent with Photoshop though. I worked on that off and on little by little because I didn't want to get in a rush and mess it up. Now that I'm done with it I still see more that I could do but for the most part that's what took me Beyond. I've been doing some research and I think that might actually be my spirit animal. Dragons represent balance and are very wise, Brave, and nurturing but can also fight with everything in them for what they believe in.

Ride The Spiral To The End
It May Just Go Where Noone's Been...
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