#121  
Old 06-08-2019, 03:36 PM
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Poejsic Poejsic is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 83
It's "Stool Night" at Bobby's. You gotta bring your own stool. I've never attended this type of theme night before, so I'm uncertain if patrons are required to bring furniture or a sample of their own poop. I'm betting on the poop thing, so my suggestion is that those who plan to attend work up a good one and dump it in a zip-lock bag. When you arrive, it's probably best to just hand the bag to the bartender in order to be eligible for drink specials. I understand that Feces Joe turned down the request to be guest bartender in order to attend court mandated drug rehab, so he's gonna miss out on one of his favorite theme nights. Returning for another run is "Bowels-so-Foul and the Pit-Tones" Get your bags ready in advance so you don't have to wrench one out in the parking lot.
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  #122  
Old 06-13-2019, 06:51 AM
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Poejsic Poejsic is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 83
It's "Seduce Feces Joe Night" at Bobby's. None of that predictable touching or lubing is involved. All that stuff has become rather vapid in a world where excitement has been reduced to endless lines of sheeple following one another, nose to bunghole. What Joe is craving is what folks who dwell under bridge abutments call "the real thing". All drinks are served frozen, in plastic "push up" fashion. All "finger foods" are served on the heaving breasts of "Miss Lily "Piscatonni, a geriatric exotic dancer who has agreed to work "for tips". Drink specials include "The Auger", "Shaved Labia", "Tonsil Tingler" and "Don't Touch Me There". All meals come complete with phallic-inspired utensils. Tumescence of any degree is not tolerated and offenders are thrown head-long down a flight of stairs in order to dissuade such physical reactions. Feces Joe is the only exception to this rule. After all, participants are trying to seduce him. A contest is held to see who can inspire Feces Joe to produce a hard-on, without touching him, while he is seated in stall #1 in the mens room. The winner gets a burned DVD copy of "Behind the Green Door" and all the Don't Touch Me Theres they can handle. There is usually a good crowd for this one, so alternative parking is provided in the Latchkey Funeral Home parking lot across the street. If anyone tries to give you any sh** about parking there, just tell 'em, "I'm going to give Feces Joe a boner." They'll know what ya' mean. There is a small cover charge.
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