Is your book fiction or non-fiction?
Nasty! A cockroach woud be the worst insect. If I wasnt going to get a free meal from it I might get past some insects, but not the roach.

I would suggest trying to find an agent first. I had a novella published once by a publisher who was basically publishing anything because it wasn't costing them anything because they wouldn't even print copies of your book unless they sold one online. They refused to promote my work at Book Fairs where they were promoting other authors they represented the works and it was just frustrating. I made the mistake of not trying to find an agent first but when I write my new book I will be sure to do that before I even consider a publisher. Good luck though and don't give up!

Bipolar Mania is so terrible... sometimes I just feel like I want the entire universe stop existing all at once. Is anyone else here suffer from bipolar or any other types of mania or depression?

Years ago, i used to suffer from a debilitating form of anxiety. My gp put me on an antidepressant called Effexor. I kept telling her that i wasnt depressed but oddly enough it worked miracles. Im on a very low dose and probably always will be.

Fiction

I tried an agent awhile back. Didn't work out. Didn't even know people still used agents. I'll have to look into that

I actually suffer from Bipolar Disorder type 1 and it really does suck so I understand how you feel.

If anything makes me mad even slightly it's like I get so furious that I wish I could just blow up the entire planet. I also tend to get high anxiety and I get extremely manic sometimes.

AND to make things more complicated I also suffer from Asperger's Syndrome...

Asperger Syndrome - diagnosed aged sixteen, while at high school.

Everyone who writes famous books you've heard of uses an agent as the agent has the connections to get you a better deal than you can yourself, I just wish I knew that when I got my book published. As long as there is a literary market, agents will always be in demand.

With that said, a good strong query letter is also key as this will give the publisher or agent their first impression of you and your work.

Oh my god dude you just described my manic episodes to a T. It has ruined a lot for me in life and I fear that because of it I will spend the rest of my life alone.

Same here. I'm very lucky that I have a Mom who takes care of me by keeping up with my doctor appointments and making sure I take my medication. A lot of people with mental illness like Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia don't get any support from their families or from the places that are supposed to help them out which is why they end up on the streets or worse.

I worry every day about what I'm going to do when my mom eventually passes away because I'm not sure that I can take care of myself and I really don't have anybody else. I don't trust my brother or sister to take care of me because they are both very self-centered and I feel like they would both kick me out once they got tired of me. So I really just don't know what to do about the future...

I was honestly in the exact same boat you are in more or less. When I lived in Virginia I hated it there. I was originally born at Scott Air Force Base in Illinois but I lived in St Louis until I was 9. Virginia is where my mother grew up so when my father died she and I back there. I never fit in and always wanted to get away but I always end up right back there. I had my grandfather to reply on but I knew I was only the burden on him and I needed to get out and start experiencing life for myself and learn how to be self-sufficient and independent and not be scared to get out on the buses and get around that way. I have been taking a lot of steps forward lately trying to improve my situation and I think I am on the right path. It is very tough and takes a tremendous amount of Bravery to take that step but all I can say is just believe in yourself.

My Mom has been trying to find ways to encourage me to be independent but at the same time I think that part of her is afraid to let me grow up. She' doesn't have anybody else to rely on either and let's just say we come from a very shitty family and nobody really cares about what happens to me or her.

I guess when the time comes I'll just have to look after myself. It helps being aware of the fact that I have Bipolar Disorder because now I am able to control myself better. But I still have moments where I get so angry at people that I just want to rip their heads off.

Oh and I hated the small town where I grew up in Georgia for the same reason. I never fit in or had any friends at all and there was nothing for me to do there except go to school and come home and lock myself in my bedroom watching TV and playing video games all day until my mom got off work. It was a very redneck town full of uptight ignorant people who talk shit behind each other's backs. Not to mention the fact that drugs and alcoholism was everywhere there.

It's so weird reading this because it's like I have went through everything that you have. The only person in my family still living who cares about me or my well-being is my grandfather. Other members of my family have never liked me for some reason nor had they ever liked my mother. Who needs them though? I mean if they are going to be assholes like that they are better off staying out of my life anyway. The only way I am able to get through the day sometimes just being optimistic and I try to see the silver lining in everything even when I feel like the whole world is collapsing around me. I tell myself it's just a feeling that I can't control and that it will go away And eventually it does. I normally don't have these episodes when I am on my medicine but I have had trouble getting in to see a psychiatrist But thankfully I'm going to see one next month.

Yeah, I don't feel like you HAVE to love somebody who clearly doesn't love you just because they are blood related. Family isn't about blood relations it's about being there for each other and looking out for one another. I feel like there's very few actual "families" in this world because people are just so damn selfish these days and don't care about anybody else.

There are parents out there who would kick their young children out on the streets for getting knocked up or coming out the closet about their sexuality and there are also children who mooch off their parents for free money but won't lift a finger to help them when they need it most. I think those kinds of people should all be ashamed of themselves.

we live in a Very broken and very lazy Society. it's like I said, the human race is devolving when we should be evolving. Technology enslaved us long ago.

I guess, but then again humans were doing horrible things even before technology became so advanced. Some of the things we used to do to each other was far worse back in the day like witchburning, torturing criminals into confessing, public executions, slavery, blaming rape victims, etc.

I think when it comes down to it humans are and always have been horrible.

But I agree that technology has made us lazy and vulnerable.

That's true but I'm just saying I think a lot of what has to do with people's behavior now is what is made available to them. I mean look at what the media is doing for modern society. A lot of people who lash out in violence do it because of something they were influenced by. I don't mean that by saying people should play music and movies and such I mean the media seems to bring every single violent act that happens to the public light which discussed so many people in such ways that they actually lash out. It's an endless cycle of violence brought to you by the media in order to keep the media afloat because without news there is no need for the media.

Well I kind of think that people have always been violent but the media has made us more aware of this. A long time ago people didn't see violence unless they were fighting in wars so they thought that things were supposed to be peaceful in their little towns and villages, but now the media has shown us that all sorts of terrible things happen all over the world every day. To top it off we also have movies and video games that teach us that violence is fun and that there are no real consequences to taking another human being's life. So I guess that the media has really desensitized us and made us too cynical about the world. It's like nowadays we don't really care when bad things happen and we don't make any effort to try and make the world better.

Well I had an interesting evening. First I went to what was supposed to be this goth fetish fashion show but turned out to be a crock of shit more or less. The club they were having it at had the front door completely locked for some reason and the only way to get in was around the back which took me awhile to figure out but once I did I started going around towards the back but considering it was dark outside and they didn't have any signs or any warning up, I took a step off of a three and a half foot drop in the sidewalk and now I have a pretty brutal scrape on my elbow and three large, very dark bruises on the side of my ass. After I finally got inside I chilled out for a little while when I realize it wasn't a fashion show at all, it was just a few models that were wearing latex outfits walking around, not much originality going on between the few that were there, but regardless I was trying to mingle and they ignored me so I just said fuck it and went to my next place which was the same bar I went to last week but this time BYOB, a System of a Down tribute band and Children of the Korn, a Korn tribute band, where they played a free show. I think I found my hangout spot. It's just too bad that it's all the way on the other side of the city. All these so-called goth places I have been so far all a crock of shit being put on by people just as plastic as their tits.

So this is how my elbow looks today. METULLLZ!!!!!!

See? I'm a poet and don't even know it.::big grin::

I just didn't understand the nature of your post, especially considering the stuff that got started the other day over people talking about Acting out in violence and that was just a bit random and came off A little hateful. I just wouldn't want you to get in trouble or anything.

I was in a really bad mood today and felt like expressing my hate in a crazy and random way. But if that post was too offensive I will edit it. ::smile::

I'm not offended at all man. Vent or rant all you need to if you ask me. I just know how some people are About certain things and I wouldn't want someone to take what you were saying the wrong way or just deliberately be a dick or a troll about it. maybe I'm just overthinking things because I myself have been quite manic lately as I haven't had my medicine in a while and can't even get into the psychiatrist until next month so I feel your pain brother.

Yeah I hate trolls too but luckily I'm getting better at ignoring them on the internet. It really isn't that hard once you get in the habit of not responding to them lol.

I know I shouldn't be so mad about this but I just found out that when we move back to Georgia I'm not getting my own bedroom after all. Me and my younger brother are going to have to share a tiny little bedroom in the cramp two bedroom trailer that we used to live in before moving down to Florida 9 years ago. Our clothes are going to have to fit in the same closet and basically his junk is going to be put in the bedroom with my stuff.

I'm a neat freak with a very organized bedroom full of nice pretty stuff that I've been collecting for a long time and I value my privacy. My brother on the other hand is a complete slob who does not take care of anything or even bother to clean up behind himself.

They promised me that they would build us two separate bedrooms before we moved back and of course that wasn't going to be the case. It's always empty promises! I just know that I'm going to be miserable and go crazy having to move back home like this and it really sucks that I can't do anything about it. ::mad::

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum,
bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let the aeroplanes circle, moaning overhead,
scribbling in the sky the message she is dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

She was my North, my South, my East and West,
my working week and my Sunday rest.
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought love would last forever, I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood,
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

WH Auden

I hope you are doing alright DBT. we love you and we are here for you brother.

Well I had a one month and 4 days early birthday celebration yesterday. My Grandpa gave me $200 for my so I bought a USB keyboard for my laptop because it would cost a lot to get it fixed and I really want to start writing again. I bought a silicone water bong because my blind ass can't Keep a glass piece from breaking to save my life. I also got my PlayStation Plus Membership back and pre-ordered Red Dead Redemption 2 and got some Chinese food. I still have a little left over for bus fare and whatever else comes up in the whatever else comes up in the next 2 weeks Until my broke ass gets paid again.

I hope you're doing ok too DBT. I'm sorry about what you are going through and I hope things will be ok.

And congrats on the birthday money Morningriser! My birthday has already passed but I'm hoping that for Christmas I can talk my mom into ordering me Yakuza Kiwami 2 and maybe Shenmue 1 and 2.

Speaking of Christmas, I wonder what I should get my baby niece? I want to get her something special.

The one bright side about moving back home is that at least I will get to be close my new neice. I already love her! I hope she grows up with a better childhood than I had and I want her to know that I will always love her and think she is special. ::love::

Dbt, good to hear from you. Hope you and your boy are doing as well as can be expected.

Luvable, I'm glad you are going to be able to spend more time with your niece.

Thanx y'all...I'm holdin' it together....I'm all fucked up on the inside tho.

I am so thankful for the support shown to me from friends, family and my rainbow family as well..

I had a shitload of overdue horror books due from the library, they had to override the system for me ::big grin::

I'm alright...but I'll never be the same again.

I may not always write, but, you're constantly in my thoughts.

I don't know if it's just in Las Vegas or all over the place now but apparently the goth culture has changed a lot as everyone I have encountered here in Las Vegas who is goth all have the mentality of a celebrity. Meaning if you don't look like someone who is of wealth or importance, they will literally, yes literally shrug their nose at you. They all say the exact same things as if they have a handbook of verbatim things they should respond with. what if they are robots? It would explain how plastic and artificial they really are. if God's people are supposed to generally be self-centered assholes like someone else I know. I guess the people back home just did it for fashion because the people here remind me so much of someone else who is self-centered, sadistic, narcissistic, Beyond egotistical and thinks the universe specifically Exists for them. the funniest thing of all is most of these women here who are goth are mediocre at best which is so funny considering how they seem to base everything on looks and when you meet one of them this is typically what they say to you, hello my name is such and such. I am not attracted how they seem to base everything on looks and when you meet one of them this is typically what they say to you, hello my name is such and such. I am not attracted to you but When you hear that over and over and over it makes you get discouraged and shows you just how ugly the world really is when people who most likely jhave been Through some fucked-up experience in their life to make them that way, hold something so petty against people. There is nothing I despise more than hypocrisy. </rant>

Well I personally feel like Hipsters are like fake Hippies and Emos are like fake Goths.

They don't really stand for the great things that Hippies and Goths used to be about, they're just a bunch of pretentious materialistic snobs who spend too much money on name brand clothing trying to look cool and feel more special than they really are.

That's the way I always look at it and that's the way the women around here are. They care more about their image. It's like goth is a uniform to them. When I was in high school and in my early twenties I went out of my way to be all trendy and look the part but I grew out of that and I am going to be 37 years old next month appearance to know who I am. I mean realistically these women around here who are my age and still dress like they are trying to the Corvette and High School are most likely deep down empty inside and so Bland and boring that even with them being attractive as is, they feel the need to put on an eccentric appearance To draw in people. I mean They are all narcissistic and very manipulative.

I can honestly say I never tried to dress to impress. I dressed for comfort and I always wear the same style: T-shirts, shorts, and flipflops.

I have no sense of style lol.

Sorry to hear you're running into that so much. A lot of people don't seem to value anything but looks, wealth and fame. But I'm happy to know lots of people who look past looks and value many other things.

Yeah they are out there but unfortunately Las Vegas is Hollywood's playground so naturally everyone around here would carry that stigma. I mean I guess it just comes with the territory and knowing that anyone out here that would put that much into their look it's doing it for superficial reasons and seem to hold some sense of entitlement because they're over inflated egos won't allow them to See the world any other way. We live in a plastic Society.

I live in the South. Nobody here really cares about looks or money but we are the Bible Belt and if you don't go to church or pretend to believe in Jesus like everybody else then the people here really do look down on you...

I guess every place has it's problems. ::big grin::

Where I used to live at in Virginia was similar only they thought they were way too big for their britches. I live in a town up in that tip in Virginia where Kentucky is on one side and West Virginia is on the other. We had a state championship wrestling team in high school for 27 years in a row I believe so naturally Our Town thought it was better than Jesus even though if you don't believe in Jesus you might as well be the devil. people always treated me differently there even from the time I first moved there as a small child from St Louis and I was viewed as an outsider by everyone even though that's where my mother was born and raised. I never felt right there and on top of that everyone was Christians and not just Christians but Southern Baptist Christians who many would describe as religious extremists in some of their methods. I feel really weird and out of place in Las Vegas as well now but to be fair I just moved it to thousand miles away from home and I've only been here for 3 months now. It's a learning experience and I'm not even sure that I'm going to want to live here the remainder of my days as I just love to Travel and there is still so much out there for me to see. I spent so much time in my life focusing on wanting companionship or friends and I've realized that if all I ever do is Chase dreams then I'm going to miss out on reality.