Thanks I really appreciate.

Gonna start some re-writes.

you're welcome.

hope it turns out the way you want. :)

Ok, I haven't read it all yet, but I have a few critisisms...

Instead of saying what seems to be a joint you should say what it is, it's a screenplay and needs as much detail as you can give it... so it should read "They are smokeing a joint" maybe even with more detail again..

Also you wrote "she pulls out a big bag of coke" then when she is putting it away it is a vile? it needs to be one or the other...

I'll read on.

Just sent you a PM

Thanks everyone so far for reading it.

Personally, I liked this dialogue but if my boyfriend was sleeping around I'd be a lot more pissed. He kills her, right? So shouldn't there be more rage or if this supposed to show that he's a calm, calculated killer?

I'm getting mixed signals.

Killing someone in my eyes is the ultimate pissed. He freaks out because she lies and then he killers her. What more can he do? He then kills the others.

private review? laaame.

Yeah, lets thrash it out here......

exactly, now I'm just curious.