I can always just use my rapier wit

I think an actual rapier would do you better, hun. ;)

You still dieting for that movie btw?

Heavy-soled boots ... for when I literally have to kick some ass.

I change my answer, kemal would be my weapon.

So, if he beomes a weapon would you carry him...

I didn't realize we could have humanoids as weapons, in that case I would choose David Letterman, he could bore them to death for me..

If someone is chasing me really fast, right behind me, I would simply fall to the ground abruptly, become a log, and let him/her trip over over me onto the face---and hopefully on asphalt.

I have always wondered if it would work...

Or maybe I'd pick a Rat-flail.

My best weapon would be this...

I'd draw a deer, roll it up, put it in ma' ear,
so if you steer, get up in my face here, the deer gon' leer, like a monkey suck beer, hit you in the heart stricken with tha mad fear, make you wanna run, run away like a queer, try to escape, but you can't get clear
gonna cut yo' neck...
like the wool...
WITH A SHEAR


...I felt like revisiting...

Little of the ol' kemaltherapy huh?

A halloween Ressurection DVD, they'd see jamie lee curtis was in it and think it must be a good one, then when busta rhymes appears and they're going "WTF?" I'd run. If they didn't want to watch it, I'd just take the disc out of the case and throw it at they're neck. Oddjob away!!!