Madame Helena's eyes started to boogle, and her lips mumbled; and I said, "Where is Theresa Caputo?"

Jean Claude Van DAMN....why did I ask her that?? (tee-hee)

Just as I saw my body complete a round house kick to her head!

That sea hag went down faster than Monica Lewinsky but it gave me a New York minute to inject her with sodium pentathol(which I'm pretty sure is the stuff that will render her unable to lie).

Let's see... where should we begin?

I bent down to roll her over when suddenly her doorbell chimed!! It was shrill and the Madame started to stir...

Who could it be at this hour! The session I paid for was for the entire evening!

Its true, this was unexpected, but there isn't one thing on God's green earth that I can't handle. I'm basically a human "Terminator"(which I almost starred in as an extra).

I stuffed Madame Hellena into a closet, and approached the door.

The caller began pounding on the door as I peered through the peephole. I saw the frantic face of my ex-wife, Nadine!!!!!!!