:rolleyes: Men they are so lazy

Or just witty

Lazy? Pfft. Using this bucket is more work than you think.

Not to mention dragging around 23 inches of....


well...

WTMI

*yawns on suject*

thick veiny penis

okay i got the idea the first time guys

You forgot to mention the spinal cord

well, the spinal cord is IN the penis. I mean, I've gotta carry around my regular spine and all my kidneys too, but I don't mention those.

GUYSSSSS...............................
pleaaaaaaassssssssssssseeeeeeeeeee
STOP.............................................. ....
thank you

But of course...


Yet...You know, most guys don't have such an affliction, so I'm sure that it makes it heavier and much more cumbersome...So, it really IS more work, and therefore worth mentioning as pertaining to the subject of whether or not you are lazy, no?

it sweats pure Fresca

u are doing this on porpose rn't u?

too true. I actually had to have one of my (rather huge) testicles removed to put in a device to pump extra blood so my big spicy beef dong can actually get hard. If I didn't have it, I'd pass out whenever I got a boner

OMG.....you guys are gonna make me so sick
but alas i keep reading cuz its funny as shit so please go on

My penis and I built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassinatino. When Oswald shot at him, my penis deflected all the bullets. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement

It was also the sight of my penis that turned George Takei gay

And thus.....the magic bullet theory is upheld......by deflection of a large penis

mmhmm sure sam

it's all true. Also, my semen is 106 proof, and I've been told it tastes like the juices of a delicious, medium-cooked T-Bone steak

Eww...Yuck!...Now I'M gonna gag...




Steak is SOOO much better rare




:D :D :D

not THIS steak

There was a theory going around a couple years ago that my penis was actually three penises in a flesh-coloured sleeping bag. I tracked down the person who started this rumor and promptly disproved it. How, you ask? To this day, even I don't know.

oh my god

that's what they all say...

I heard from this guy at a busstop that STE's penis can quote every line from the Off Broadway production Hedwig and the Angry Itch, including the final performance at the acclaimed Victory Gardens Theatre in Chicago.

...but every time it does it grows a little bit smaller.

first of all, how can something "grow" smaller?


second, it's not really getting smaller, it's just a very good actor

BTW, ever see my penis and Optimus Prime in the same place at the same time? No. Coincidence? I think not.

...
 

I heard somewhere that every time Michael Jackson did the Moonwalk, it wasn't actually him dancing but rather just the effect of the gravitational pull of Sam's ego. :p

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Edited for accuracy

We shouldn't really laugh at Sam...

I mean, consider the negative aspects of having this thing...


1) Having to drag around all that extra weight

2) Having to buy customized pants

3) Being forced to have sex from another room than the one the girl is in

4) Having to show security people (at airports, borders, etcetera) that he is NOT smuggling a rocket launcher...or a boa constrictor

5) Being eyed suspiciously by grocery store workers who may think that he is trying to shoplift sausages

6) It often seems to have a mind of it's own...Don't you think that maybe sometimes Sam could be afraid to go to sleep...He HAS voiced concerns that it will one day strangle him

7) The risk of tripping and breaking his neck

8) The simple act of jumping up and down could cause serious injury

9) Lawsuits from people who claim that he has poked their eye out at porn theaters

10) Masterbation would be a BITCH


And it has been rumored that it may have kleptomaniacal tendencies....Ever seen how an elephant picks up a peanut with its trunk?...Ya gotta think about that one a little bit

I'm sure there are more...One can only imagine ALL of the hardships that he faces because of this...

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LMAO It should be a documentary.

One hazard of this penis:
I was watching Happy Days, and back then I thought Joanie was hot, I popped a boner, and it went THROUGH the TV and took out Chuck. That's why he was only in the first season

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I fail to see how this would be a boring documentary, trippin. :p

there already is a documentary, it came out this year. It was called "March of the Penguins"

Re: ...
 

It even has political and historical implications...ie: the JFK thing

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no, Chuck. He was Richie's brother who was only in the first season. Now you know why.

Hmmm...I wonder how many more 'mysteries' can be solved, and attributed to this...


OMG...What REALLY happened to the Sphinx's nose?!


Sam?....

ehh remember this ?

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d5...ow-penis-2.jpg

since my penis is so long, when I cum, the semen has more time to build up speed before it shoots out. One time, it came out so fast, it created a shockwave that opened up a rip in time, and wrecked Amelia Earhart's plane while she was flying over the pacific

a scale model of the smallest my penis has ever been

Re: Re: Re: Re: ...
 

did you just read the words "Happy Days" and "boner" and go from there? Try reading my post again