HDC The Movie III : The one with a new director
 

Okay, I loved MM's two films, and although i know this wont have as many views or supporters (or be as good) I just hope you lot pay some attention to it.

Is there anybody who wants to be in it?

I would, but I got my head bashed in during the first one.

I wouldnt mind coming back.But i'm zombified.

I'm way dead:)

This had better be freakin' GOOD

Do you understand me???????????????????????

You make good! I tell you now!

:mad: :mad:

:rolleyes:
;)

you'll need to talk to my agent - but my shooting schedule will be very very tight.

also, i'll need to get a small part for lindsay lohan - - - don't ask, just do it.

Monkey wants to share a trailer with Lindsay Lohan.

I'll be in it but I'm a zombie now.

You could make it about Murderdoll and call it "HDC 3: Season of the Bitch"!

I'm just kidding Murderdoll, you know I love you.

I'll be in it, as long as I'm played by Roberts Blossom again,

i'm willing to share a trailer with lohan (out of respect for the braindead) but its going to have to be fumigated on a daily basis. . . even monkeys have their limits!

As good as the other two are another person having some fun with it will be great. Make sure to run it through spellcheck first. ;)

OH! He went there!

I'd write it. I also agree to most of Zero's potential demands. Monkeyproofing the Louvre will be hard, though.

Uh, this one went over my head. What is this all about, now?

What part of "don't ask, just do" don't you understand?

...........................

EXT: A parking lot littered with monkey parts. Massacre Man is walking away, toting a dripping ax over his shoulder. As Massacre Man walks off, Zero's disembodied head looks up, confused. It rolls around on the ground until a skeletal hand lifts it up.
Zero:AHHH! I'm out of Monkey Hell!
Camera pans out revealing that the hand belongs to a mysterious figure in dark robes.
Mysterious Figure: I took you from Monkey Hell for a reason.
Zero: But Monkey Hell is great!
Mysterious Figure: Look, I'm sorry, but this was really important.
Zero: It'd better be!
Mysterious Figure: The time has come for you to return and wreak havoc.
Zero: Wasn't I just wreaking havoc a minute ago?
Mysterious Figure: Yes. Because you are the chosen...the emissary of chaos...
Zero: That sounds even better than Monkey Hell!
Mysterious Figure: Just wait...
The figure sets down Zero's head on the ground and Zero's body reassembles.
Mysterious Figure: Excellent...it's all going according to plan.
INT: A med school classroom. Ferretchucker is presenting a hideous creature, half ferret, half pig to his classmates and professor.
ferretchucker: So, you see, by combining a pig and a ferret, we can solve all of society's problems.
ferretchucker's professor shakes his head in disapproval.
Professor:I don't see how. And this was clearly done with a staplegun. This isn't even a proper crazy genetic experiment.
ferretchucker: How dare you challenge me! Does your outmoded "God" tell you it's wrong to take his place?
Professor: No, your project is just lazy. You can't just staple animals to each other and call it a cure for all of society's woes!
ferretchucker: I'll show you! I'll show you all! Ha ha ha ha ha!
ferretchucker exits with his bizarre creation.
Professor: Whatever.
Opening credits roll

Okay, here goes. A short first seen. BTW. This is MY FILM! Anyone who want;s to write ***Cough*** Faustus, can wait for the 4th film.

A small run down building is shown in the middle of nowhere. The camera zooms in to show some movement under a few pieces of broken wood. The wood moves to reveal a ferret eating a severed monkey ear. A large, red monkey foot is shown stomping on the ferret.

Zero : "That's mine bitch."

Cut to a house in the city where Mothman is watching television. Show the television screen.

__V__ : So really defeating the zombies was more a case of knowing their weaknesses, in this case their book.

Interviewer : Well, it's been six months since the "Zombie-Mania" and you seem fine. Was, was it hard getting over this ordeal?

__V__ : Not really. I mean, Shit - Oh shit I said shit at three o'clock. Sorry kids.

Interviewer : Well, lets hope that's the last we'll here of them. On to the weath-

Mothman clicks the television off. He smiles as he picks up an old book.

Mothman : Honey, have you made my Cheese and leek Soup?!

A deadified Mona_Lisa shuffles out of the kitchen holding a bowl of soup.

Mothman : That's my girl. I think old __V__ will finally have that triumphant smile ripped off his face come tommorow...

Off to a great start.





Doc

Now now, there's no need for that.

Next scene up in a min.

Hmmm...Maybe, mine a faustaus' scenes could both work in this. Yes...yes...

Here comes the re-vamped first scene.


EXT: A parking lot littered with monkey parts. Massacre Man is walking away, toting a dripping ax over his shoulder. As Massacre Man walks off, Zero's disembodied head looks up, confused. It rolls around on the ground until a skeletal hand lifts it up.
Zero:AHHH! I'm out of Monkey Hell!
Camera pans out revealing that the hand belongs to a mysterious figure in dark robes.
Mysterious Figure: I took you from Monkey Hell for a reason.
Zero: But Monkey Hell is great!
Mysterious Figure: Look, I'm sorry, but this was really important.
Zero: It'd better be!
Mysterious Figure: The time has come for you to return and wreak havoc.
Zero: Wasn't I just wreaking havoc a minute ago?
Mysterious Figure: Yes. Because you are the chosen...the emissary of chaos...
Zero: That sounds even better than Monkey Hell!
Mysterious Figure: Just wait...
The figure sets down Zero's head on the ground and Zero's body reassembles.
Mysterious Figure: Excellent...it's all going according to plan.
A small run down building is shown in the middle of nowhere. The camera zooms in to show some movement under a few pieces of broken wood. The wood moves to reveal a ferret eating a severed monkey ear. A large, red monkey foot is shown stomping on the ferret.

Zero : "That's mine bitch."

Cut to a house in the city where Mothman is watching television. Show the television screen.

__V__ : So really defeating the zombies was more a case of knowing their weaknesses, in this case their book.

Interviewer : Well, it's been six months since the "Zombie-Mania" and you seem fine. Was, was it hard getting over this ordeal?

__V__ : Not really. I mean, Shit - Oh shit I said shit at three o'clock. Sorry kids.

Interviewer : Well, lets hope that's the last we'll here of them. On to the weath-

Mothman clicks the television off. He smiles as he picks up an old book.

Mothman : Honey, have you made my Cheese and leek Soup?!

A deadified Mona_Lisa shuffles out of the kitchen holding a bowl of soup.

Mothman : That's my girl. I think old __V__ will finally have that triumphant smile ripped off his face come tommorow...

INT: A med school classroom. Ferretchucker is presenting a hideous creature, half ferret, half pig to his classmates and professor.
ferretchucker: So, you see, by combining a pig and a ferret, we can solve all of society's problems.
ferretchucker's professor shakes his head in disapproval.
Professor:I don't see how. And this was clearly done with a staplegun. This isn't even a proper crazy genetic experiment.
ferretchucker: How dare you challenge me! Does your outmoded "God" tell you it's wrong to take his place?
Professor: No, your project is just lazy. You can't just staple animals to each other and call it a cure for all of society's woes!
ferretchucker: I'll show you! I'll show you all! Ha ha ha ha ha!
ferretchucker exits with his bizarre creation.
Professor: Whatever.
Opening credits roll

Part 2

A small house in the suburbs with a bit of a run down garden is shown, with ferretchucker running into it.

Ferretchucker: Mum! They didn't like my ferrig! Wait 'til the guys on the internet here about this! Mum?

The figure turns around to reveal zero on stilts in a dress and a wig.

Zero: Hey kiddie. Mamma's got a surprise for you! I'm making waffles!

Zero shoves a waffle iron into ferretchuckers horrified face. He drops the ferrig on the floor and it runs away.

Zero: Okay then buddy. What next? I here Chicago can be pretty ni-

Cloaked figure: Silence! There are still many more obstacles to overcome. First, remove this childs head from the waffle maker thing.

Zero peels ferrets lifeless face off the scolding hot waffle iron.

Zero: Oooh, couldn't you just play tic tac toe on that face?

He points at the blank face with horrible criss cross burn marks covering it.

Cloaked Figure: Bite him.

Zero. My Pleasure CF. Have you got any maple syrup?

Zero bites the neck of Ferretchucker. Instantly a change takes place. Ferretchucker's hair falls out, his skin becomes a much paler colour (Save the burn marks) And his eyes become a glowing red. Also he has the typical fangs and pointy toungue.

Ferretchucker: Now I can have my revenge on society! Now I can have revenge on my class mates. Now I can have revenge on my teacher. Vampiric clown watch out! The ferretchucker's about!

Zero hits ferret over the hack of the head with a frying pan.

Zero: Shut the fuck up! We aint in a comic book. You don't need to make stupid speeches and you are NOT called Ferretchucker. I'm gonna call you...Waffleface.

CF: Silence both of you. I sence a presence. Someone watching us...

In a house across the street, OMCdave takes off the binoculars.

OMCdave: Let's see what's happening next door in Mrs. Blankenships house...

Trippin_the_rif: My turn!

Neverending enters the room with a shot gun and blasts their heads off.

Neverending: Bloody wankers!

Oh now, that's totally out of character for my character. I wouldn't be shooting anyone in the face. I'm the crazy old man who comes in after the shooting and glares at everyone and starts ranting about "Oh you have no idea the forces you've unleashed here..."

new director. Theres always some break of character.

Or "There's (Some sort of killer/evil force) in these here (your location at the moment with an "S" at the end"

Example: There's pissed-off nazi ghosts in these here houses?

Well, I think Mr. Blossom and I are holding out for more money then.

Me no likey this Uwe-Boll-ish turn in this sequel!:mad:

Everytime they change the crew for the 3rd part...it sucks.

O well...:rolleyes:

why must you hurt me in this way?

Part 3

Back in __V__'s apartment. __V__ is typing on his computer to "The Guys"

__V__: Well, this is all a good idea but do you really think Thriller.Com needs another fan-movie? These guys are idiots.

A knock on the door. __V__ answers to find Massacre Man standing there with plenty of blood on his shirt.

Massacre Man: Bad news! Look outside!

The camera shoots to the window in a fashion fitting a computer game to reveal people running around in the city, screaming, trying to escape the horde of deadites.

__V__: Oh my god. How did this happen?!

Massacre Man: Some kid up there decided it was time for a sequel...

__V__: What?

Massacre Man: What?

__V__ looks at Massacre Man in a strange way.

Massacre Man: Well. i was just watching TV and drinking some Bud when my house was stormed by Zero, some kid who seemed to think he was terrifying and kept mentioning Ferrets and a cloaked dude. Well, I managed to convince the kid that he could be incharge. He bought it and decided to try and kill them. Well, he threw and axe at mr. cloak but zero made short work of the kid. Poor deluded guy. I could see right through his head. But anyway, in the confusion i managed to run away. Then the first place I thought of coming to was here.

Some screaming noises can be faintly heard but __V__ and Massacre Man appear to have not heard them

__V__: But how could these guys be alive. I destroyed the book and anyway, didnt horrorobsessed mention some kid with a Ferret last time?

Massacre Man: I dunno. His dad probably had a car.

__V__: Hearing Noises What's That?

Suddenly a deadite bursts through the door, knocking the two guys over.

Massacre Man: What the fu-?

Another deadite storms into the room. Massacre Man recognises this one as

Massacre Man: Posher?

The posher deadite lunges at him with great speed. Pushing him back on the floor. MM reaches for a piece of broken vase (It was knocked over earlier in the struggle.

TO BE CONTINUED...

I didn't say "fuck" once in that. And I never met Posher in the script. ;)

Ah, but you had seen photos of him and heard of him...biatch.

Part 3b.

) The piece of broken vase slips out of his hand as posher struggles even more.

Massacre Man: Fuck Punches Off! Punches

He once again move his hand around, this time clasping a bigger piece of the vase. He brings it quickly up into poshers throat. Poshers body writhes for a while, then goes still.

Massacre Man: __V__, where are you?!

He looks around, then hears some muffled fighting in the bedroom. He kicks open the door to see __V__ hitting the deadite over the head with an alarm clock until it stops moving.

__V__: Well, we'd better get out of here. I feel I've played the hero too much. How about Istanbul?

Massacre Man: You can go where ever you like, the fuckers will follow you. Any minute now Zero will have picked up your scent.

__V__: So what happened again-

The motionless deadite srings up from the ground, and in a flash, both he and __V__ have smashed through the 31st floor window. Massacre Man runs to the now smashed window just in time to see __V__ fall through the roof of a mini-van. A swarm of the Deadites push past each other to get into the now, corpse carrying Van.

Massacre Man: What? That can't happen! THAT CANT HAPPEN!

Massacre Man is silenced when two, red furry hands grab him by the neck and pull him out of the window. Zero is holding him above the drop him his hair, whilst he hangs from a little flower pot ledge.

Zero: You gots some 'splainin' to dooo!

Massacre Man: Just try it! Try it! Go on! You know i'll get you in the end. And your mum!

Zero smiles maliciously as he pulls the protagonist up higher. He sinks his teeth into Massacre's neck. Grey blood oozes out. MM screams in pain but still refuses to beg. Zero throws his body onto a nearby roof, then climbs into the apartment.

Zero: Let the games begin...

can i plz plz plz

I'll post the next bit tonight. (My tonight, GMT) I think I shall bring in another old star. And maybe some new ones.

here we go!

Cut to a lon white hallway. Camera zooms down to a door at the end with the face of horrorobsessed pressed to a grill.

Horrorobsessed: LET ME OUT! I'M SANE! THEY'RE COMING! THEY'RE COMING BACK!

A Man in a white coat runs to the door.

Doctor Thomasgeorge: Look, your medication is on it's way. We're short staffed, we went through this and if you'll justcalm down-

Horrorobsessed: You just don't fucking get it do you. Listen to me or you'll need the bloody medication. THEY ARE BACK!

She Spits in his face.

TG: Here. Look at this little guy. We found him in Doctor Macabre's room. Little guy came in through a window.

He hands her a photo of a red monkey sitting on a swive chair.

horrorobsessed: LET ME OUT NOW! LET ME OUT! HE'S BACK! HE WANTS TO GET ME! LET ME OUT YOU STUPID BASATRD.

TG smiles patronisingly but before he can do anything else Zero has run up behind him, grabbed his head and is smashing it against the door.

Horrorobsessed: Fu-fu-fu-

Zero: Funny?

He smiles sadistically and bites TG's neck. Blood pours from it. Within a few seconds, he is up again and unlocking the door.

Horrorobsessed: NO! HELP ME! SOMEBODY HELP!

Zero pushes the door open and begins walking towards her, slowly.

Horrorobsessed: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! YOU'RE NOT REAL! I WAS WRONG! THIS IS A DREAM!

As Zero is within inches, the deadite TG pushes him out of the way angrily and tries to get a bite himself. While Zero is dstracted, Horrorobsessed runs out of the room and into the hallway. Zero lays into the Deadite TG then follows Horrorobsessed.

Horrorobsessed: HELP ME! SOMEBODY HELP ME!

Presumably nobody takes her seriously because they just laugh. She can't see any doctors and runs up to the roof. Zero follows.

Zero opens the roof door but cannot see anybody. Suddenly, he finds a rope around his leg and is lifted by a crane above the 8 floor drop.

Horrorobsessed: ZERO!

Zero puts his hands up to his face and doesn't speak.

Horrorobsessed: I just have to be sure...

She walks towards him and reaches for his face. Just as she realizes what she's doing, zero has grabbed her and tere is a strggle. She pushes him off the ledge but he grabs her and pulls her done too. Next thing she knows, she has a knife in her back and Zero is holding the ledge. She kisses his lips. He puts out his tounge and she pulls away, gagging.

Horrorobsessed: See you in hell.

[I]He lets her drop. She falls into the trees and Zero pulls himself back up. At the bottom, her body twtches, then gets up.[/.I]

Horrorobsessed: Fuck me that hurt!

She gets up and limps away.

Next part up tommorow.

hmmm...........

i think i've seen this movie before.











please tell me Busta Rhymes isn't in this one.

This seems very Epic Movie-ish... :(

Um......weak.

i had no ideas and that was on tele. oh well.

next segment up now.

On top of the roof, massacre man regains wakes up.

Massacre Man: Fuck this. I'm goin' to my cabin. Maybe finish Harry potter. I can't wait for hermiones topless scene!

He gets up, holding his side, then limps away.

Meanwhile, in the woods, horrorobsessed is running away as fast as she can.

Horrorobsessed: Why...does...this...shit..always...happen...to me?!

Some rustling can be heard in the distance. She stops still for a second. Suddenly, out of a bush, ferretchucker appears, grabbing her leg.

Horrorobsessed: Get the fuck off me!

She kicks him in the face. He stops moving, Then she notices the machette in his hands.

Horrorobsessed: Finally! These fucking deadites wont know what hit 'em!

She tries to take the macheete, but ferretchucker's hands have a tight grip so instead, she picks up him. She walks on into the trees.

horrorobsessed: I think this is where massacre man one tried to seduce - I'm talking to myself. Oh crap, i feel like I'm commentating for some viewer/listener/reader.

She arrives at a small wooden hut. There's a murky swamp next to it that could easily have an alligator in it. There appears to be a candle on in one of the rooms. She knocks on the door.

Horrorobsessed: Hello!

No Answer.

Horrorobsessed: Massacre Man! It's me, Horrorobsessed! Let me in!

The door earily swings open.

Horrorobsessed: Thanks...

She steps inside, dragging ferretchuckers body. He hits his head on every step up to the inside. She drops the body and decides now is a good time. She walks into the kitchen, gets a knife and uses it to hack off his hand. after she is finished and he is moaning slightly, she takes the machette and decides to go to the room with a candle.

Horrorobsessed: Hello? Who's there? Jesus? Is that you.

She's a figure in a cloak with the hood down. She recognises the face as that of vampiricclown. he appears to still be breathing...slowly. She then looks across at the armchair and sitting in it is no other than...MOTHMAN!

Horrorobsessed: YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LIT THE CANDLE!

Mothman: And...

Horrorobsessed: And broke into the cabin?

Mothman: And...

Horrorobsessed: Realeased the deadites!

Mothman: BINGO! Yes, I did it.

Horrorobsessed: To get revenge on __V__ for taking your spot on television! For massacre man stealing your girlfriend and for me...for me sleeping with your father and breaking up your family.

Mothman: Wrong! I did it for fun! Ever had really long nights? ever got bored of monopoly and cluedo? Ever found some book with things to raise the dead? Ever wanted a zombie wife who never complains no matter what you do to her?

At that precise moment, massacre man bursts in through the door, holding a newly bought copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows whilst unzipping his trousers.

Massacre Man: What the fuck are you to doing here?

Mothman: Just in time! SICK 'EM BOYS!

Outside, some movement and rustling can be heard drawing closer. Grunting and shouting. Then, all of a sudden, the cabin is surrounded by Deadites, and the two only characters who have played a main part in this and the last one and survived until this moment are surrounded. Just then, the ceiling breaks and the noise of a helicopter can be heard. Somebody in black clothing lowers themselves into the cabin. They take off their mask.

Horrorobsessed: BLOODRAYNE!

To be continued...

Ditto.....