Masters Of Horror
 

After a brief conversation i had with Nini_luv5 about the Masters of Horror series, i decided to revisit them and watch each episode. I've also decided to post reviews after watching each episode for the sake of conversation.

Beginning in 2005, creator Mick Garris brought several famous horror writers/directors to create a series of horror movies shorts. This was the first episode.

Incident On and Off a Mountain Road
This first episode was directed by Don Cascarelli whose most notable movie is Phantasm.

In the film, Ellen played by Bree Turner (The Ugly Truth, My Best Friends Wedding) gets into a car accident on the side of the road after she hits another car while distracted by her radio. When she awakes she checks on the car she hit and finds a trail of blood leading from the car to the woods. Upon following the trail she is shocked to find a monster of a man named Moonface dragging the victim of the car behind him. The film then follows Ellen as she tries to escape Moonface as he chases her through the woods.

First of all i have to say that the title of this episode is just terrible. It couldnt possibly get any more vague and uncreative. It might as well just be called Stuff Happens.

The movie switches back and forth between Ellen's escape through the woods and moments of her life with her husband Bruce played by Ethan Embry (Can't Hardly Wait, Vegas Vacation.) Bruce is a insufferable survivalist tool who is constantly spouting out pointless life lessons that offer no advice or insight into any situation. Its just as vague as the title of the movie.

There are constant scenes of Bruce teaching Ellen how to fire a gun and throw a knife and other tips like hes training her to be an assassin wherein he's really just a nut. He's also a huge jerk as he calls her pathetic and a whore numerous times.

However it seems as if all his stupid survivalist crap seems to stick with Ellen as instead of just running away (which is horror movie 101) she creates stupid traps that do nothing but waste time. This is annoying and makes Ellen a very unlikable heroine in my mind but at least it shows that Bruce's strange lessons are actually pointless.

Until later when his survivalist lessons actually come in handy. What kind of message does that give off? That it was good that her crazy abusive husband gave her stupid advice and pointless training for when she would have to fight the mud people (An actual thing he says will rise up one day) That makes her seem even more unlikable in my opinion.

The movie also stars Angus Scrimm who is most known for his role as The Tall Man in the Phantasm movies. He plays a crazy old man named Buddy who Moonface keeps as prisoner. Buddy is way too over the top and comical and distracts the movie from what is going on at the time. His role could've been completely lifted out of the movie and nothing would have been lost.

Without giving anything away, i also disliked the ending as it seemed out of character and contradictory plus there was a cheesy one-liner which i really hate. The only thing i liked was Moonface but even he was basically a generic giant killer.

On a scale of 1 to 5:
2

Completely agree...

Yeah there were better episodes than this-still haven't seen Valerie ON The Stairs oddly.

Yeah, that one was less than stellar for sure...personally though I thought Scrimm was pretty much the best part though. Sure he was pointless and over-the top, but the rest of the movie was so painfully dull and predictable that he seemed like a breath of fresh air. At least he was something a little different.

Lots of great shit in this series though, I was a huge fan when it first started - looking forward to the rest of your reviews.

I'll probably watch another later today and post a review afterwards.

Next up, Dreams In The Witch-House

Get ready for another disappointment.

Thanks for the heads up

I guess I liked 'Incident' a lot more than everyone else. It's one of about half a dozen episodes I thought were quite good.

Incident On And Off A Mountain Road
Cigarette Burns
Sick Girl
Imprint
The Screwfly Solution
The Washingtonians

I'm with Angra about Dreams In The Witch House. Kind of dull.

I look forward to the rest of the reviews.:)

Moving to correct forum...

Dreams In The Witch House
Stuart Gordon (The Reanimator) once again adapts a HP Lovecraft story.

Now i'm a fan of Lovecraft but i haven't read this one (still working through the Necronomicon) So i'm not sure how this holds up in comparison to the story.

It stars Ezra Godden (Dagon) as Walter Gilman, a young Grad student studying portals into other universes (go figure) who takes a room at an old boarding house that looks like it should be condemned. There he meets Frances and her baby Danny.

Soon after moving in, strange things begin happening just as you would expect. Things like noises in the walls, strange dreams, a creepy neighbor and a rat with a human face that just looks ridiculous. Eventually Walter finds out that his room contains a doorway to another universe where a Witch wants to use Walter to kill Danny to continue her ritual of killing children for whatever reason, its never given.

Let me say that the story to this movie is intriguing and if done right could have been interesting and scary. That being said, there is absolutely nothing scary about this episode. Walter overacts every scene he's in especially when hes trying to come off as afraid and instead just seems comical. The rat as i said just looks stupid and whenever it talks (yeah it talks) it makes it even worse.

There's no credible build up at any point in the movie. We never even see Walter besides his time at the house. There's no reason to care about him at all and even him studying portals into other worlds only gives you an explanation of how the Witch can do what she can which isnt really important anyway. His creepy old neighbor is the one who lets him know about the Witch and provides somewhat of a background for her and the story but even that goes nowhere.

Also the portal thing isnt even done right anyway as at one point, Walter just smashes through the wall to where the Witch is. Is she in another world or just behind the wall? What's also sad is that the rat is a bigger villain then the Witch as nothing she does comes off as powerful or intimidating, she just seems like an old lady.

Filled with one-dimensional silly characters, bad acting and lame visuals this episode is just stupid, silly and dull. Don't bother with this one.

On A Scale of 1 to 5:
1

Just for the record- Lovecraft didn't write the Necronomicon.

Yeah I was talking about this:

http://www.amazon.com/Necronomicon-W...6973710&sr=1-3

OK I admit Dreams Of The Witch House was pretty awful but I was grateful to see what they had done with it despite the disappointment if that makes sense

Just happy to see an adaptation of it at all? That what you mean?

Ah- I wasn't aware of that collection. I thought you were referring to one of the various fake Necronomicons that have been published over the years.

Yeah i figured. I should've clarified.

Yeah that's the one.

i liked masters of horror jenifer was my fave.

I finally saw Valerie On The Stairs-certainly not one of Barker's best works. The ideas behind it was good but its one of those things that sound better than they actually are. My fave is still Heakel's Tale. But Jennifer was great too.

I havent done this in awhile...I might have to watch another today. If i do Dance of the Dead is up next.

The one i cant help but watch over and over is The Fair-Haired Child.
That film just captures soo much of what horror films are for me :)

That ones my favorite which i believe i told you before :)

I believe you have
I just saw it recently so it came across my mind

Yeah i know, i didnt mean that in a bad way. Just having a conversation. I have such a hard time conveying my tone in text form. People can't get when im being jokey about a situation lol.

no worries, i took no offence... i try not to take anything on here seriously... unless some one gets in my face about something lol

Well you dont have to worry about that with me

thank you very much :)

You're welcome. I've been in forums before with overly aggressive people and other people who were overly sensitive and so far i've seen none of that here and thats one of the reasons why i really like this place.

hmm well we have very different experiences... usually on my forums people hate how blunt i can get... meh..

the most Forum Nazis that i have ever encountered was on a Gundam forum... i get heated every time i even log on

Oh believe me i like blunt people. I would rather have some tell me i'm being a dick and tell me exactly how they feel about something i said then to keep quiet. As long as you're respectful i see nothing wrong with being blunt.

i completely agree

I knew you would. We seem to agree on a lot here. ;)

i do believe "great minds think alike" is appropriate right now :cool:

I agree! :cool:

I'm afraid I only liked The Fair Headed Girl for quite shallow reasons. Not one of my faves.

So Villain what did you make of Dance Of The Dead?. For me I felt Robert Englund's performance saved that one.

Shallow reasons? Also its the Fair Haired Child not Girl

Still havent re-watched it yet. I've seen it before but i want a fresh view before i review it. I recently changed my Netflix so i dont get streaming anymore so it might take me longer to see certain episodes. I'm going to watch this soon though, maybe tonight.

Oops its been a while since I watched that one-I just mean I found one of the characters eye candy (not the Fair Haired Child of course).

I know what you mean about getting a frsh view-I finding lately I'm enjoying some things I initially didnt get I seem to appreciate a lot more second time around.

Thats what i figured. Sorry about going all spell check on you there.

I still have yet to re watch it. Maybe tonight.

http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/...vie-poster.jpg

Directed by Tobe Hooper (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre)

The film is set during a post-apocalyptic society where the world has been devastated by WWIII. Chaos and anarchy rule the streets especially in a town called Muskeet where groups of punks and rebels meet to watch something called The Dance of The Dead. A young girl named Peggy who lives a sheltered life with her over protective mother meets Jak. Her attraction to him leads her into the forbidden town of Muskeet and the dreaded Doom Room where she will witness the Dance of The Dead and find out a secret about her own family.

Going into this i remember really liking it the first time i saw it. This time however i felt slightly different about it. Much of the movie is chaotic, hectic and at times annoying especially in any scene where the character Boxx is talking. There's so much to grasp for only a hour length episode/movie and in trying to learn about what has gone down to create this new world, some of the story might be missed. But the movie kept me intrigued and entertained and one bright spot is Robert Englund hamming it up as The M.C. of the Doom Room.

By the end everything was explained but it still seemed incomplete to me and could have done better if given more time.

On a scare of 1 to 5:
3.5

Next up:

http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/...R50214317_.jpg