Tales from the Dumb Side
 

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Last night, I caught the tail end of Craig Fergusen's show, and he had brought a member of the audience up on stage. This lady gets celebrity signatures tattooed on her arms. Craig writes his name on her, and asks her to promise not to use it to forge checks.

On the closing credits, the cameraman zooms in on the signature...on national TV...for every forger to see. Wonder if he still had a job the next day?

I used to work with a "carpenter" who had 8 fingers. One day, I asked him how he'd lost them. He replied that he had chopped his thumb off on a table saw, and 4 months later, did the same with another finger. Who was dumber- him, or his boss, for letting him near power tools a second time?

Got any tales of monumental stupidity?

Very similar to the "carpenter" story. I was a woodworker for 4 years a while back, and my uncle, who I worked for, had MANY friends in the business. We got a visit one day from a friend of his who had moved to california and was an assistant foreman or something for a construction company. one of the day-laborers rushed over to the boss one day because one of them had hurt himself with a table saw. they got there to find out that he had cut his thumb off.

When the boss asked him how, he proceeded to demonstrate, literally, with the other hand. I guess you cant blame the guy, he was trying to keep his job, and he performed admirably :)


I have many MANY from my days working on a helpdesk, more to come :D

That sounds awful and painful! I've read about some sort of disorder, that lots of people have, that causes people to want to amputate parts of their body. I forgot what it's called.

I think the boss is the dumb one.

The only stupidity I can think of is Tom Cruise's behavior on the Oprah show and what he said about Brook Shields having post-partum depression.

Tom Cruise is a very appropriate poster child for Scientology. They are required to speak out against things like medication and psychology. Arrogance is considered a virtue. It appeals to those with no identity or ability to think for themselves. And John Tavolta. He is the only person who doesnt disappoint me (or make me say "figures...") when I hear they are a scientologist. he treats it as personal, which is kind of against the rules, but he doesnt impose on anyone.



Kirstie Alley is another good example. She is a lunatic and a moron.

Okay, here is a good ol' helpdesk story, involving a guy we'll call "Jim Kriete" (because that was his name :D, and its pronounced "Crete", like the island). I started referring to him as "Krietard" early on because he was a moron.

In one incident, he was working as an assistant to the PC tech, the guy who physically worked on computers rather than troubleshooting over the phone. A sales person had some issues and needed their hard drive defragmented and some scans run, just to make sure everything was all right. Jim didnt bother to check and see if he had the right laptop, grabbed this guy's, and proceeded to wipe the hard drive WITHOUT BACKING IT UP. Even if it had been the laptop of the terminated employee he thought it was, he was still required to back it up. I beleive he set the guy back over a month.

And kept his job because he was friends with our boss.

More to come, that aint the half of it.

I talk to dumb people all day long, interviewing them about what they think about new movie previews. They'll tell me things like they want to see the movie because of the action, and what they dislike about it is it has too much action...

A significant number also can't remember a single thing of what they saw one minute earlier...

They arent stupid, just the part of their brain that sheds the details in order to save space is VERY efficient :D

Rent-a-brooms, a constant source of amusement.


When I worked at a resort in the maintenance department, we had a hillbilly painter who used to brag about dating a model who had posed in O-U-I (spelled out) magazine. I asked him if he meant Oui(French pronuciation). He said no, the American one. He was color blind and illiterate, to boot, and we had to follow him around, fixing his work. He lasted 2 years there.

At the last warehouse I worked at we had a horrible forklift driver. The boss kept him around because he'd work for cheap because no other place would hire him.

He took out several dock doors driving the thing. One day he took out the front fender of my bosses new Mercedes. I was rolling.

He probably still works there, driving the forks

I agree with the first statement.

I say and do dumb things all the time but I've heard other people say they do, to. I don't know that making dumb mistakes means a person is completely dumb or not. I hope not. :o

By the way, NE, I wanted you to know that I think your movie blurbs are excellent and informative.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that I have terrible short=term memory loss which is supposedly caused by a medicine I have to have. If I don't write things down, I won't remember hardly anything until I'm reminded. :o