[TheBossInTheWall]

Originally Posted by ChronoGrl

Where are you located? Coffee Meets Bagel attempts to do that (you can only message each other if you "like" each other) but its model - a "Bagel a day" (I kid you not) makes it even more sloooooooooooooow.

I'm in Brooklyn. I don't think a cell phone application for dating is something for me. Ty though.

Not to return to the "Simple Curiosity Pole," but how do you identify? I've historically checked off "Bi Female" but it seems to raise more questions than anything else so I've recently updated to "heteroflexible" (ugh - All because I just don't identify as straight - This is going to sound wishy washy but I had the labeling honestly).

I do not think about my gender identification too much. I don't feel I'm a man or woman or androgynous. I recognize my body is male, I'm attracted to women, but that's about it. On websites I use man/male because it helps other people in identifying me as a gender/sex they're attracted to. I guess I identify as straight in regards to gender, but not sex. Shrug. Though I do find connection in a Propaghandi song lyric(forget which one) where the singer says "and I refuse to 'be a man." I definitely can relate people trying to enforce me to act a certain way according to sex.

I've found that when I first join sites, I get a flurry of messages (mostly poorly spelled with no grammar or just a "Hi how r u?" as opposed to filthy stuff - I almost prefer the filthy stuff sometimes because it's typically more inventive than "Hi i saw ur profile u seem neet wuts ur name do u have kik?") but tend to taper off (except Plenty of Fish which really just seems to hit the bottom of the barrel - Apologies in advance to my friends who met on there - oops - heh heh).


I've had the most luck with Tinder and OK Cupid. The former, well, I had to take care of some things (heh) and with the latter I find more of the quirky, nerdy guys that I tend to lean to. I have a subscription to Match, which I should cancel because I think the demographic is more for wholesome, vanilla, Christian folks looking to get married and have kids. Not me, nope.

okcupid seems to be filled with mostly 'normal' folks. Its free, but mostly women i'm not interested in. Some are very attractive, but not much in common. I've never been interested in any of the sites for casual sex. I want emotional/thought and other stuff before having sex with someone. Not a judgement on you, or that a judgement is valid anyway.

Have you tried Reddit? It's been recommended to me because you get kinda clever weirdos... My issue though is that Yes I want a nerdy guy (tattoos and hipster glasses yes yes yes yes please) but they absolutely have to have their shit together, which surprisingly is harder to find than one would hope.

I've been tangentially connected to to reddit through a boardgame reddit group, but I've stopped playing most board games and never connected with the people that went to them.

I had a pretty promising first and second date with a bloke I met last week - Seems nice and I'm desperately trying NOT to become a STAGE 5 CLINGER - Not that easy. I can be fairly intense when I meet someone, romantically or otherwise, and I'm starting to realize that that's not necessarily the best approach...

Stage 5 clinger? What is that? Intense. In my experience girls are afraid of men who are too intense fairly fast or afraid of their own feelings if they're intense and thus run away from them.