[cheebacheeba]

I wrote myself a very frank email...well, that's what I ended up doing anyway...

My intention was to simply lay out my plan for getting fit, losing weight, and document the process along the way so I might be able to hand on advice, recognise what works, what doesn't, and list my challenges along the way.

It's funny when you start to follow certain trains of thought, when you're truly introspective. Some of it was actually a bit upsetting to acknowledge, in terms of basically how I feel about myself.
Trying, isn't the same as wanting to try, or trying to try, which is basically what I've been doing for the last few years.
I think it's important that people learn to draw a distinction between the two.
Too much procrastination. Too many excuses and lazy logic. Too many "You're doing well so this allows for that" occasions.
The shit is hard, but mainly in my mind...which is way harder to change than your body.

So yeah nothing really more to report, I just thought it was interesting that I set out to do one thing and ended up ripping everything out of myself that I could, to lay it all out and be honest with myself...it's not as though I couldn't do it in my mind, but there's something about writing it out.

Don't know if this "diary" type thing will ever be seen by anyone else...I'm not the kind to really go that public with things. But it's there, it exists at least for me.

So in short, diet changes, more actively taking my dog on longer walks, and actual SOLID, ongoing gym attendance.
My first step is that I've paid for an actual session with a personal trainer to write me a program. I'll be attending no less than four times a week for around an hour and a half every time.

...of course, what happened at the beginning of the year?
Me and the family got sick with some kinda flu crap.
So yeah my PT session is on Monday - and all going well that will be my "real" start point. The dietary changes are already underway. The dog walks are already underway. I just need to stop hacking horrible shit outta my lungs now.

Blahblahblah that's me done.