[Stingy Jack]

I agree with ShankS. I never answer the door when it's "them people". However, I have had an interesting experience with a gentleman of certain evangelical tendencies.

I was working at the gas station, and the owner of the Bible book store from the mall across the way always came in the store. This particular instance happened around Christmas time when the superintendant of the school system forbade teachers to teach "The Christmas Story" as if it were truth. Suffice it to say, this really pissed off Bible book store guy -- I'll call him "Glen" for simplicity -- and he decided to go around spreading "the word" to everyone he saw.

He came into the gas station one evening after closing his store, and started in on his "Do you know Jesus?" spiel. Here is the conversation, as I remember it:

Me: "Hey Glen. How are ya?"

Glen: "Not too good, buddy. Have you read the paper?"

"Yeah, I've read it. You really told that school board a bunch of crap." (He was quoted in the paper from a meeting he attended with the school board about the issue. He said something like: "I, for one, love Jesus! And I want our kids to love Jesus, too!")

"What do you mean? Don't you love Jesus?"

"Not particularly."

"Well ... what do you believe?"

"If it's reasonable and can backed up with much evidence, then I will probably be inclined to believe it."

"So ... where do you think we go when we die?"

"Besides the ground, you mean?"

"Yes. Where does your soul go?"

"The 'soul' is one of things that is not backed up with much evidence."

"You know, Hell is a terrible place."

"So I've heard."

"It is much more terrible than you can imagine. It is complete and utter separation from God. You are alone. Utterly alone. Nothing around you for eternity."

"That actually sounds quite pleasant. I read a view of Hell in Joyce's Portrait of the Artist. His view is quite different than that. In it, you are buried beneath a pile of decaying bodies, all screaming endlessly. You can't move, you can't breathe, and you can't hear anything above the screams."

(He looks at me, stunned)

Glen: "Well, whatever. You don't want that to happen, do you?"

"No, I don't. Which is partly why I don't believe it will."

"It will, unless you ask Jesus into your heart to forgive your sins."

"How do you know that?"

"The Scripture tells us."

"I have a lot of books that say different things. How do you know the Scripture is right?"

"Because it is the Holy Word of God! Those other books ... Buddhism, Islam, all that ... They didn't have a Messiah that rose from the dead. How can they say their beliefs are true?"

"Well, a man dying and staying dead seems pretty close to the truth to me."

"You know, I think I was sent here tonight to save you. I really do. Do you mind if I get you some reading material?"

"Be my guest."

"I'll be right back. They were written by scientists. I think you will find them interesting" He left to return to his store and brought me two books that defended the Christian faith. I read the first paragraph of each and the credentials of the author of each.

Me: "Okay, this guy says that basing your beliefs in Christianity is not using 'blind faith', but instead is using faith based on evidence. That's bullshit. Faith, by definition, is belief without evidence or reasoning. In fact, the term 'blind faith' is a redundant one. And neither one of these guys are scientists. They're preachers. They say they use scientific reasoning, but they are twisting their logic to suit their ends."

Glen: "You're not going to believe unless you have faith, you know."

"You mean, I have to believe in order to believe? Thanks a lot. I'll keep that in mind."

(Glen starts to get really angry now): "You know, it's people like you that are corrupting this nation's freedom of religion. You know that? You take God out of our schools, and out of public place, because he offends YOU. What about the rest of us!"

"Freedom of religion? What about Jewish parents who send their kids to public schools. Don't they have the freedom to keep Christianity from saturating their children's lives day after day?"

"NO! Because the Jews are EVIL!" (and here he started hammering his fist down on the counter) "If it is not of Christ, then it is pure EVIL! Aren't you against EVIL?"

"Yeah sure. I'm against evil. Which is why I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store."

"I really hope you find God one day, man. I really do."

"And I hope you get away from Him. He's made you kind of crazy."

And with that, he left. I never saw him again for another year. He boycotted the store, and actually called my boss telling her she needs to fire me. He wouldn't have godless people like me working for him! Good thing my boss understood the discrimination laws, though.