[massacre man]

Originally posted by Stingy Jack
I don't think I would throw myself down an elevator shaft. It would probably play out like this:

"Stingy, you are my father."

(Stingy's brows furrow slightly.)

"Did you hear me, Stingy? You are my father."

"Wait ... did you say that I'm your father?"

"That's what I said."

(Stingy leans across the table, eyeing the creeper with careful scrutiny.)

"Who's your mother?" he finally asks.

"What?"

"If I am your father, who's your mother?"

Creeper glances around nervously, then leans back in his chair with half-formed confidence. "Some bitch."

"Dammit! Maybe I am your father."

"Do you have any money?"

"No."

"Need some?"

"Sure."

Creeper unfolds his wallet and slides out a twenty. "Will this do you?"

"Anything's fine. I'm all for handouts, you know." Stingy reaches for the bill, only to be violently bitch-slapped by Creeper.

"Hands off, fat-ass! Get a job, ya fuckin' louse!"

"Sorry."

"S'aright."


The end. :)

i'm your father