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Nonono, the killer is...
Richard Linklater, who kills them using a series of Rube Goldberg like contraptions that start when they open their front door, and you think it's gonna be quick and end with a bag of old rotary phones crushing them, but NO, BITCHFACE!!! It ends when they get in their car where the mouse, startled by the cigar lighter, runs on his wheel which causes the small pin to pop the balloon which startles the victem, then they turn around and Richard Linklater beats them to death with a copy of Dazed and Confused. Then, they hang him with the film reel for Under the Tuscan Sun, which has nothing to do with Linklater, really, but the movie should be put to SOME use, don't you think? But then, WHAMMY (Blammy zowy powwy) he comes back to life, rapes the virgin to death, catapults Jack Black and some kids into a brick wall OF DOOM!, Rabbi Jeremiah in Ohio trips over some haggus, and the twist is that crack was developed and distributed by the government to destroy the black community.
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