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Perhaps instead of resorting to violence, when the van doors swing open and the looters are taking by surprise by your presence...instead of greeting them with a gatling gun...you could sing them a song...such as....
Now this could only happen to a guy like me
And only happen in a town like this
So may I say to each of you most gratefully
As I throw each one of you a kiss
This is my kind of town, chicago is
My kind of town, chicago is
My kind of people too
People who smile at you
And each time I roam, chicago is
Calling me home, chicago is
Why I just brim like a cload
It’s my kind of town
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