[Zero]

when IA caught me masturbating. . . onto his mom. .

(and see, no monkey references!)


my two real scariest moments: years ago i was walking through a dark alley taking a short cut back from a party when a guy came running out of his house and put a .357 in my face and told me to put my hands up. . . needless to say I did and then the cops showed up and it turned out the guy's house was being broken into and when he came running out i was the only person in the alley so he thought it was me. . . i declined to press charges and the guy sent me a nice note saying how sorry he was.

the second was a few weeks back - i already posted about it - where a bear ran me and my friend out of our camping site. . . i recently saw in the news that the bear had been 'put down'. . .which sort of makes me sad (though i think it was only a matter of time before it really hurt someone)