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In the daily grind, i dont really care what people think. On some level, i AM looking for a certain amount of outside approval, probably because growing up i got a lot of "If it doesnt have to do with you getting good grades, i dont want to hear about it." from my mom, which happened quite a bit during my creative peak in high school.
I ended up living a very segregated existance when we lived in germany, the closest friend i had lived over an hour away (by bike), and i generally couldnt get a ride to their house.
On top of everything else, i was an akward kid in school, and while i had fairly well developed social skills and was well regarded by most other kids, i made friends with rejects because they were more to my liking and had similar interests, so i would catch shit for that.
And on top of it all, my sister turned into quite a mean-spirited bitch while we were over there amnd seemed to really enjoy shitting on my self-esteem whenever she could. Of course, if someone else picked on me, she acted like my savior, but i think she just liked giving people shit, and it was another excuse to be a bitch.
I developed a wall against other people's opinions. if it's negative and not constructive at all, then whatever. If it's positive, then i eat it up, hence my shameless plugging and pimping of my website, my stories, my kid, my wife... etc...
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