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I MIGHT have liked his backstory if it wasn't completely unoriginal. Forsyth gave a good performance and I liked the kid from Spy Kids getting beaten to death, but it takes 40 minutes to tell us what only needed ten. His family was white trash and people were mean to him. Really? Is that the BEST you can come up with, Rob? Mean hicks?
And Michael shouldn't have been the Huge Freakin Guy that he was. Michael Myers isn't scary because he's a physically imposing beast. That's Jason. Michael was scary because he was The Shape. He could be anywhere. The lights in the house are out. The room is completely dark except the moonlight coming in through the window. Suddenly, in the shadows of the background, you can make out the hint of the white mask. THAT is Michael Myers. In Rob Zombie's vision? He's a lumbering Frankenstein. No subtlety. No white mask creeping in from the background. Rob just cuts to a closeup. I know subtlety isn't Rob's style, but then maybe he shouldn't have done the movie.
And the thing that really bugged the shit out of me was Laurie. She acted no differently than any other broad in the movie. Oh, but she wore glasses. And she "doesn't like to lie." According to the Teen Comedy Movie clichés, she's the shy, quiet girl. Rob, if 3 of the 7 writers of Scary Movie are able to call you on your shit, then something is very wrong. I never thought I'd say this about a Rob Zombie movie, but the writing is just lazy. Ho1KC sucked, but at least it wasn't lazy. But Halloween? Lazy as shit. It's like he was talking to someone going on about how cool it would be if he could remake Hallween. And then they had him remake Halloween, and he panicked and went on auto-pilot.
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