[Psycom5k]

How cancer isn't that big of a deal to you, until somebody you know actually has it. Or at least thats what its like for me. So yeah, my grandmother has cancer, I just found out a couple hours ago and now I can't get it out of my head. I didn't realized it until now just how serious it is. I mean, I knew it was serious, and I thought it sucked, but I didn't know just how much it did suck until earlier. She has bowel cancer or whatever you call it. She is going in to the doctors tuesday to find out when she goes in for surgery. I know this isn't a death sentence or anything, but I can't help but fear the worst. She is now 78 years old, and her health has been getting steadily worse and worse. I never really got along with my grandmother when I was younger, she always seemed to favor my sisters more than me. But these past couple of years we had been getting along great, and had become alot closer than we ever were. Now I know just how close I am to losing her, and it scares me. Not only that, but if she dies, I know my grandfather will more than likely also die right after her. He is the same age, and he hasn't cooked a meal for himself ever. I never realized just how much he realize on her until just now that I think about it. And its scary how you don't think of these things until something bad like this comes up. I mean, I've never really even entertained the thought of losing either of them. its just plain scary.

I'm sorry for bothering you guys with this, but I need to vent. I'm going to bed now.