[Doc Faustus]

It's tough living without such an efficient quick fix, it really is. I still find myself craving Valium from a very bad judgment call a doctor made for me in high school. Luckily, I have no insurance and don't have the money to buy the stuff. Seven years and I still feel like having some if things are going bad. Just remember that the pills don't want to help you. Work against the spirit and the intent of the addiction and it can be wrestled. Remember that it is now a part of your psyche and body like any other part and like any other part, it can be fought, although it's much harder. I wish you the best and advise you to keep close tabs on your psyche. If you believe in divination/fortune telling, daily readings help. If you remember your dreams, keep track of them. Exercise, water and give yourself little things you want when other things come out. If you're weaning yourself off painkillers, nobody's going to judge you for having an extra piece of cake. It will help, because it's a little bit of power you're taking back and it's a little bit of happiness you're giving yourself. My prayers and sympathies are with you. This is tough. Burroughs once wrote "the face of evil is the face of total need" and it's true.