Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkfloyd45769
Thanks so much Nova for thinking of me,its sweet:)I know that there are plenty of people in the world that have it far worse than i do,really i know that.I still believe that my life,for me in my way of looking at it,plain fucking sucks.I'm sorry if i sound like i'm selfish or anything like that at all,i'm really not.I am getting out of bed,taking care of my children,and doing all normal everyday things that everyone else does.I put on a smile and i act like nothing is wrong,like i have it all under control.The truth is..i really don't!I want to reach for a pill more and more everyday,i thought it was supposed to get easier.I am starting to feel like i'm just not the person that i thought i was,like i'm living two lives.I keep most of my thought to myself,its easier that way.If you put your shit out on the table,you have to listen to all the advice you don't want.I never talk about me anymore,i avoid it.I just want my life back,the life that i thought i had.I don't want to hear my kids ask me where their daddy is or why i'm crying.I think hiding things from kids is the hardest thing to do,they know more than you think they do.Sorry i rambled on,i'll stop here:)
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no one said life wasnt tough ...
a lot tougher for some ...
but the ONLY way to survive is to deal with the issues, work on the broken parts, draw strength from the things that are going right.
you are young and attractive - you have 4 healthy kids, a supportive family.
all things that give you a huge chance for survival.
I think things will improve ... new challenges alway pop up - they do for everyone .. but i'm pretty sure you'll be looking back at this one day thinking ... well, i got through that ok.
oh - and i know it's not on the same scale - but i do practice what i preach (re perspectives)
I was getting really depressed about the winters up here. VERY depressed ... our summers go by so fast ... the winters are so long and shitty ... and this summer in particular - it rained every day.
but earlier this year - i'm reading the papers and seeing in the news that hurricanes are sweeping away homes and lives in the caribbean, land slides burying 10's of thousands of people in china, the horror in Burma.
I thought to myself - fuck it - Canada has to be the weather - safest place on the planet. I never have to worry about these things ever.
so my perspective had a complete shift .. i realized that i was luckier than most of the rest of the world - and resolved to not worry about the winters anymore.
I'll just stay inside and watch a lot of movies until its over :)