[stubbornforgey]

..............................................I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.'''' Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.....I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream......... And that's when the fight started.....

............

took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"



" Nah, she can order for herself."



And then the fight started....

............

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.



My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'



'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'



And then the fight started....

........My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."


And that's when the fight started....