[Shootmenow]

10. Don’t call the Government for help.

9. Don’t barricade yourself in the attic.

8. Hardtops are better than convertibles.

7. Whether a fuckin’ costume or a way of life, a leather jacket and a mohawk do absolutely nothing to prevent a zombie from biting into your head like a candy apple.

6. Don’t smack around old storage drums.

5. Don’t agree to do a favor for someone unless you know EXACTLY what it is first.

4. Sometimes the movies lie.

3. Be VERY careful about answering calls for help, especially if you’re a cop or paramedic.

2. Don’t get naked in cemeteries.

1. Stay the fuck out of the basement. Seriously, there’s nothing good down there.