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			#1  
			
			
			
			
			
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				The secret agenda of machines
			 
			
			That's right. They're all out to get you. I didn't know this until a woman informed me of this today. I have a part time job at K Mart so I have cheap bastards on top of the joys of working in retail. This is a dramatization of today's events. Bi-polar lady: Can you print my check out for me? Me: Yes ma'am Bi-polar lady: ::Impatient sigh:: ::impatient sigh.:: Me: Here's your receipt. Have a nice day. Bi-polar lady: What happened to my check?! Me: ...The register took it ma'am...we keep the check. Bi-polar lady: Don't be a smartass! You probably overcharged me. Me: I just put the check in. The register takes it. Bi-polar lady: Walmart lets me see my checks. I should have known better than to shop here. Me: Maybe you should take on the strenuous challenge of writing out you check ma'am. She walked off afterwards. She was either angry or didn't know what strenuous meant...I'm not sure...Perhaps I wouldn't have been so annoyed if she hadn't written the check out for $3.75! -.-. I'll admit she wasn't the worst customer I've ever delt with but...who does this...?! 
				__________________ "There's no love in your punches." "America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. " - Oscar Wilde | 
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			#2  
			
			
			
			
			
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			LOL...I'll bet you were waiting all day to come and share that with us tonight:D  Seriously though...I just ignore people like that... 
				__________________ ...  If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit My Karma ran over my Dogma God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him I'm suffocating in what's become of me... The rancid remains of what I used to be | 
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			#3  
			
			
			
			
			
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				__________________ "There's no love in your punches." "America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. " - Oscar Wilde | 
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			#4  
			
			
			
			
			
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			Vent? VENT? Yes, let's... The ceiling in my bathroom is leaking water. It's midnight and its not a "major water break", so I can't call the emergency line at our apartment. I'm taking a science class that I hate and I'm doing quite crappily in. I need to go ask my NEW apartment company if I can move in four days earlier than the lease begins, because THIS lease ends four days BEFORE my next... so if I can't get in early, I'm living on the street. I'm stressing. 
				__________________ MISINTUPITATED- The act of removing the spine by use of fire. DEVESTED- The removal of one's vest. SCTUPP- To deficate on a woman after nonconsensual sex. | 
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			#5  
			
			
			
			
			
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			I am sitting at "work", bored out of my fucking skull, waiting for the guy from HR to take me to my exit interview so that i can get a big fat check and go home for the next month. I waited forever to get laid off, and now they are fucking dragging it out.... bleh. 
				__________________ Some misguided people decided I was funny enough to pay. See if they're right: http://www.cracked.com/members/Vodstok/ (I tweet pretty hardcore, too) | 
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