Bush or Kerry

[fluffho]

just something funny someone sent to me

It's difficult to be a Republican in 2004, because you have to simultaneously believe that:

1. Jesus loves you, but shares your deep hatred of homosexuals.

2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our /highest
national priority is to enforce UN resolutions against Iraq.

3. Standing Tall for America means firing your workers and moving their jobs
to India.

4. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all humankind without
regulation.

5. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your
recovery.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
speeches, while slashing combat pay and veterans benefits.

7. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins, unless you someday run for
governor of California as a Republican.

8. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

9. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle and alienate our long-time
allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

10. HMOs and insurance companies can make huge profits while having the
interest of the public at heart.

11. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health
care to all Americans is socialism.

12. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.

13. It's okay that the Bush family's Carlisle Group has done millions of
dollars worth of business with the Bin Laden family.

14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him and Rumsfeld reassured him he
was our buddy; a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him; a good guy when
Cheney did business with him; but then a bad guy again when Bush junior needed
a prop for his re-election campaign as the War President.

15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense.
A president lying about the existence of WMDs to enlist support for an
unprovoked, undeclared war and occupation, in which thousands of soldiers and
civilians die, is solid defense policy in a War against Terrorism.

16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution,
which apparently include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

17. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George
Bush's Harken Oil stock trade and his conviction for drunk driving should be
sealed in his Daddy's library, and is none of our business.

18. What Bill Clinton or John Kerry did in the 1960s was of vital national
interest but what Bush did in the 80's is irrelevant.

19. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with
China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

20. Affirmative Action is wrong, but it's OK for your Daddy and his friends
to help you graduate from Yale without studying very much, to dodge the draft
in the Texas Air National Guard, to bail out your poorly run companies (Harken
Oil and the Texas Rangers), to get you the Governorship of Texas and to have
the Supreme Court appoint you President of the USA.

21. You're a conservative, but it's OK to spend like there's no tomorrow and
run up deficits that your grandchildren will have to pay, while at the same
time, refunding as much tax money as possible to the richest 5% of Americans.

22. Call Senator Edwards a "rookie" that doesn't have the experience
necessary to run the country, when our current President was a one term governor and
had never traveled outside the US.

[orangestar]

Originally posted by fluffho
just something funny someone sent to me

It's difficult to be a Republican in 2004, because you have to simultaneously believe that:

1. Jesus loves you, but shares your deep hatred of homosexuals.

2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our /highest
national priority is to enforce UN resolutions against Iraq.

3. Standing Tall for America means firing your workers and moving their jobs
to India.

4. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all humankind without
regulation.

5. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your
recovery.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
speeches, while slashing combat pay and veterans benefits.

7. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins, unless you someday run for
governor of California as a Republican.

8. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

9. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle and alienate our long-time
allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

10. HMOs and insurance companies can make huge profits while having the
interest of the public at heart.

11. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health
care to all Americans is socialism.

12. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.

13. It's okay that the Bush family's Carlisle Group has done millions of
dollars worth of business with the Bin Laden family.

14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him and Rumsfeld reassured him he
was our buddy; a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him; a good guy when
Cheney did business with him; but then a bad guy again when Bush junior needed
a prop for his re-election campaign as the War President.

15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense.
A president lying about the existence of WMDs to enlist support for an
unprovoked, undeclared war and occupation, in which thousands of soldiers and
civilians die, is solid defense policy in a War against Terrorism.

16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution,
which apparently include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

17. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George
Bush's Harken Oil stock trade and his conviction for drunk driving should be
sealed in his Daddy's library, and is none of our business.

18. What Bill Clinton or John Kerry did in the 1960s was of vital national
interest but what Bush did in the 80's is irrelevant.

19. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with
China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

20. Affirmative Action is wrong, but it's OK for your Daddy and his friends
to help you graduate from Yale without studying very much, to dodge the draft
in the Texas Air National Guard, to bail out your poorly run companies (Harken
Oil and the Texas Rangers), to get you the Governorship of Texas and to have
the Supreme Court appoint you President of the USA.

21. You're a conservative, but it's OK to spend like there's no tomorrow and
run up deficits that your grandchildren will have to pay, while at the same
time, refunding as much tax money as possible to the richest 5% of Americans.

22. Call Senator Edwards a "rookie" that doesn't have the experience
necessary to run the country, when our current President was a one term governor and
had never traveled outside the US.

Thats some funny stuff! And its all true...makes you think.

had never traveled outside the US.

I didnt even know that! How the hell did he become our president?

[HappyCamper]

you think that's funny...check this out...

http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/af/content/this_land_af

[orangestar]

Originally posted by HappyCamper
you think that's funny...check this out...

http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/af/content/this_land_af

lol, I saw that one. I love the Howard Dean part where he screams.

[rae_pierre]

I want Bush asassinated ASAP.

I don't know much about politics, but from what I have seen, it doesn't look like Bush really thought about or knew what the hell he was doing most times...I do know he sounds like a comlete idiot when he opens his mouth.

I wonder if people will go for the "well, we caught Saddam while he was in office" route... That might help him out a little.

[wufong]

I like bush. he is funny.

[orangestar]

Originally posted by rae_pierre

I wonder if people will go for the "well, we caught Saddam while he was in office" route... That might help him out a little.

People that arent that into politics will probably think that and vote Bush. Then regret it when he causes us to get bombed.

[bwind22]

Originally posted by orangestar
People that arent that into politics will probably think that and vote Bush. Then regret it when he causes us to get bombed.

I wonder what people will say if Kerry gets elected and we still get attacked.

[mothermold]

willy wonka.

[Haunted]

mothermold, Willy Wonka would be the ideal choice. What party do you think he'd run under? (Incidentally eatting Everlasting Gobstoppers to ease the pain of quitting smoking).

I'm a Kerry girl. I'm so glad he picked Edwards, and not just because I'm Southern. It's more because there's a dynamic between the two of them that says: We can get shit done and most of the time, we can do it right....Unlike those other sons-o-bitches."