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#51
05-25-2009, 11:07 AM
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Quote:
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#52
05-25-2009, 11:14 AM
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#54
05-28-2009, 09:42 AM
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My apologies for the delay, before I posted up the last chapter a storm knocked my power out and I've had final exams all week. It will be up soon. Sorry again.
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#55
05-28-2009, 02:01 PM
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Take your time. I know how annoying these things can sometimes be when you want to write but you have other responsibilities.
__________________
 The Ferrets like it... |
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#56
05-30-2009, 12:08 PM
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Well, that's it. Done with high school. I have a Christian Bale day planned. "The Machinist," "American Psycho," "Harsh Times," and "Rescue Dawn" all ready to be watched for the first time, so here's the chapter before I set sail.
CHAPTER 5 EXT. BLAKE CITY, WAYNE LUCAS'S APARTMENT - DAY We enter the home of Wayne Lucas a.k.a Blur, a modestly-sized apartment decorated in movie posters and images of comic book characters. He has a couch and a nice-sized television and a shelf with a large DVD collection next to it. There's nobody inside, until the door opens and Wayne enters in a blue T-shirt and denim shorts holding a newspaper and a sub sandwich wrapped in paper. He sets them both down and walks to his DVD collection, he pulls out a copy of "Die Hard" and puts it in. He grabs the sandwich and sits down. He gets a single bite before there's a knock at his door, he sets the sandwich down and walks to the door, it BURSTS OPEN. Renegade was on the other end, he grabs Wayne's wrists and takes him to the ground, the angry expression on his face turns to confusion when he realizes he isn't holding Wayne. He quickly stands up and draws one of his .45s. He starts to walk around the apartment looking for him when a blue Blur suddenly speeds by and throws him against the wall. Renegade regains himself and the blue Blur nears him again, he's prepared this time. He fires a shot, it hits Wayne in the shoulder, he stumbles to the floor. Renegade nears Wayne again, grabs his arm and flips him over, he vanishes into a blue blur again, it spins around Renegade leaving him tied up. Another punch sends him flying into the wall again, he bounces off of the wall and onto the floor, Wayne gets over top of him. WAYNE What are you doing!? RENEGADE You let the maniac live! WAYNE He deserves a second chance, he can reform. He can become a good person. RENEGADE And how many people have to die while he's "reforming?" WAYNE How many people did you kill to catch him? RENEGADE They were all just as deserving to have their throats slit as he is and you are! WAYNE Why do you think I deserve a slit throat? RENEGADE You're the reason he's going to kill again. You're the reason I have to get him tonight and leave Twilight City unprotected. WAYNE I'm the reason he's going to get better. RENEGADE You're too trusting. You trust criminals to reform and you trust me to not- BANG! A shotgun blast through his chest throws Wayne into the air, he hits the ground. We reveal that Renegade had managed to free himself from the lower half of the ropes and get his shotgun. Renegade stands up and looks at Wayne's body, the shot went all the way through and out the other side. He's still breathing faintly, Renegade leaves him to suffer. Close-up of the shoulder on which Wayne was shot, we reveal that the wound has already healed. EXT. WAYNE LUCAS'S APARTMENT - DAY A woman, about Wayne's age, cute, wearing a green skirt, a white button-up shirt, and stockings walks barefoot toward his apartment. She notices the door shattered and peaks in. WOMAN Oh my God, Wayne! You can sense a hint of Irish in her voice, this is Moira O' Reilly, she runs in and grabs his shoulders, the wound has already begun to heal. The rib cage and internal organs have formed back, only the flesh remains. Moira drags him out of plain view. INT. WAYNE LUCAS'S APARTMENT, BEDROOM - AN HOUR LATER Wayne's passed out on his bed. Moira is sitting next to him waiting for him to wake up. The wound is healed, only small scars leave a sign that there was ever a wound. His eyes open, he sits up in a daze, wondering where he is. He gathers in his surroundings and looks at Moira.
MOIRA Are you okay? WAYNE Now. Where is he? MOIRA The one who shot you? I don't know, he was gone when I got here. WAYNE We have to find him. MOIRA Why? WAYNE He's going to break into the Asylum and kill The Red Dynamo tonight. And who knows, when he gets in there with the other criminals, Zombie Man, Baren, he might just go on a killing spree. Orderlies, therapists, the whole building. I think I'm going to have to give up the patrol for tonight to find him. Do you think you can watch Blake City alone tonight? MOIRA Yeah, I'm new to all of this, but I think I can handle it. WAYNE Good, I'm sure you'll do just fine. |
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#58
05-30-2009, 04:07 PM
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Oooh exciting. Good job MM, and have fun with your Bale marathon.
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#59
05-31-2009, 09:52 AM
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Sounds like a fun movie night. And congrats on finishing school, dude.
As for the story: WOW! You're doing really well so far, can't fault it. And with all of the characters you were given with all of the different powers nand backstories. Man, you got a tough job, but I'm confident in your ability to handle it!
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The Ferrets like it... |
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#60
05-31-2009, 11:23 AM
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Ooo, nice to see a bit of plot starting to develop. This is looking intense man, I can't wait to read more!
__________________
"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." - Friedrich Nietzsche |
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