Last Seen Contemporary Movie

[Amalthea_unicorn]

[TheBossInTheWall]

Originally Posted by DeadbeatAtDawn

https://vimeo.com/144989373


This was fantastic! One of the producers gave me a screener. If interested I'll let you know when it's released. The DVD will be a bit longer but digital download is very soon.

Ty for trailer. Does not look like I'd enjoy it, no need for further info. :)

[Bloof]

EYES IN THE DARK 2010

Lame found footage about some people trapped in some lodge with some red eyes staring in at them and said red eyes breaking in and killing them all. Adding insult to injury, I'm pretty sure I already sat through it before.

[TheBossInTheWall]

Originally Posted by Bloof

EYES IN THE DARK 2010

Lame found footage about some people trapped in some lodge with some red eyes staring in at them and said red eyes breaking in and killing them all. Adding insult to injury, I'm pretty sure I already sat through it before.

Senility sneaks up on us in our old edge yeah?

[roshiq]

Black Fly (2014)



A good, gripping indie thriller. Recommended.

>>: B+

[Roiffalo]

(I'm a bit backed up in posting reviews, so this might get a touch lengthy...)

Crocodile
It says “from the director of ‘Poltergeist’ and ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’”, so right away this has high expectations. The photoshop cover looks like shit though so I already have my doubts. So far I haven’t been proven wrong. The story isn’t at all exciting with a bunch of punks having a vacation at the lake.
The croc shows itself very early with terrible CGI, there are some visual effects like a head and tail prop almost right after, but the illusion is pretty much dead now. Despite the fun of pointless gore, I wish that scene wasn’t included, it might have saved us SOME suspense. Or at the very least played down some. Even the blood looks like discount Kool-Aid.
The second kill scene is almost as bad. Very brief and obvious CGI. Horror movies need to learn that ‘jump scares =/= scary’. Take the time to make your effects look believable, the more believable a movie the more drawn in we get and the more likely to actually feel fear for/with the characters. Good characters help too btw. All the ones I’ve seen so far are either complete dicks or Mary Sue garbage.
The croc foolishly makes itself known on an easy attack, and continues to make itself known as it follows two of the morons up river to the house boat that the rest of the group is on. The next death scene that follows is actually fairly good, but how the fuck does a croc destroy a house boat… Was it made of bailer twine and straw?
What’s hilarious though is right after the croc is known, I wonder ‘okay how long til one of these idiots goes in the water?’ It was almost immediate. Instead of walking off the boat onto land (which at this point is run aground), they jump in the water to get away from the boat… WHY. By SOME idiot miracle none of them get ate.
Sheriff starts finding body parts and consults a couple of local yocals who have some gators, and inform him what he’s after. A croc out of an Egyptian legend… I don’t think this takes place in Egypt… By the look of the people and sound of their accents it sounds very American based. So wtf is with the Egyptian angle?
I hate all these kids so fucking much. They piss and whine which is understandable in their situation, but they scream at each other and don’t work together to help their situation at all. Why would these people even vacation together if they talk like they hate each other?
When the croc is finally shown in full body to chase the kids through the brush… I wish I had more hands to cover my face. When your CGI makes SCIFI look good, that’s a sign to just stop.
Group makes their way into a closed store, croc breaks in and murders some more and sets the place ablaze. One of them gets injured so they carry him in a wheelbarrow. Resourceful. Like when he starts shrieking in their ears about how terrible they’re doing and they could easily just tip him over down a hill or in the river for the croc to finish off.
They make their way to the river where the cop and Crocodile Dundee’s wimpy cousin find them. The croc follows them in the boat, and the redneck in succession makes two stupid mistakes in succession. One by stopping the boat to use a gun that doesn’t even scratch it, and two he didn’t follow his own advice when he tells everyone to grab something when she goes under the boat. Just how fucking stupid… And then for some reason does a Free Willy leap over the boat?! Cop tries to fix the boat and gets ate.
Our number is down to three, and the female of the group is carrying around a backpack this whole time. As if that wasn’t stupid enough, they FINALLY discover one of the croc’s eggs was in it the whole time, causing the crock to chase them. They decide to make a trap with it, which just goes to shit. Mostly because of more terrible CGI. Luckily for the three stooges the egg starts to hatch, the girl gives it back, and the croc decides to take her baby and let them live.

TLDR; In short I’ll be taking this back to Goodwill.
But hey at least the dog lived. Even if it was small and annoying and I wouldn’t have actually cared for once if it was eaten.

-

Anaconda
This movie is apparently so good that ‘Komodo’ feels it will give them a leg up in sales as they mention it on the cover. When two of your biggest stars are a rapper and Owen Wilson though… Yikesssss…
First thing the movie does is give us some text on the snakes in question. That they are the largest and most aggressive of snakes, and that they will regurgitate food just to kill and eat again. I don’t know where they’re getting such a violent description of the animal. For one if an anaconda sees a human it will turn tail and swim away (as they are usually found in water), that doesn’t exactly sound ‘aggressive’ to me. And if they avoid humans, I don’t think it would want to eat one. More anacondas are killed by humans than humans killed by anacondas actually, and I can’t find a single human death by an anaconda, not even an attack by one. From what I can find, any injuries acquired by the large snakes are obtained by trying to research them, and causing them to act out of self-defense. Just wanted to point that shit out.
That said, the movie itself wasn’t bad. Some CGI of course but it wasn’t the worst I’ve seen.

-

Tremors 3
As sequels go, this one holds up quite well. My only complaint really is all the unnecessary CGI. You know your effects department is really fucking lazy when they have to CGI in DIRT. Fucking. DIRT. Come on!!

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A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
When it comes to Freddy vs. Jason, I go team Jason every time. ...But even I felt insulted watching this remake. I should hope Robert England does too. This wasn't NoES, this was Harry Potter, with Nancy vs Voldemort!!

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Komodo
The story and characters were SO DULL. Which sucks since they had the talent of the special effects creator of Jurassic Park to help make this movie at least decent.

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Joy Ride
Rusty Nail is underrated as a serial killer.

-

VHS 2
I was introducing a friend who's into zombies to the best zombie story of all time.

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Devil's Pass
I love the creatures in this.

-

Freddy vs Jason
So nice, I watched it twice.

-

I Know What You Did Last Summer
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
Getting in my summer horror.

[Bloof]

Originally Posted by TheBossInTheWall

Senility sneaks up on us in our old edge yeah?

Lol, exactly. That or these found footage movies are all starting to look alike!

[ChronoGrl]

Originally Posted by horcrux2007

This movie just appeared to me like something that thinks it's a lot edgier and cooler than it actually is. I heard it barely deserves its PG-13 rating too. At least Deadpool actually was as irreverent and crazy as it advertised itself as even if it's not a perfect movie. I don't plan on seeing this one.

Ugh. So disappointing to hear. I was really looking forward to this one.

[Smeg Head1]

Suicide Squad (2016)
I.M.D.B.

A secret government agency recruits a group of imprisoned supervillains to execute dangerous black ops missions in exchange for clemency, which inevitably leads to chaos.

Mediocre. Characters were fun but most of them were barely given any time; should have taken screen time away from Will Smith to round out the other characters. Action sequences were uninspired and didn't make use of the team's skills. All the fighting was 'they punch or shoot boring enemies for a bit'. Even Enchantress resorts to punching for a bit. Another uninspired, lackluster superhero movie.

7/10

[ChronoGrl]

Originally Posted by Smeg Head1

Suicide Squad (2016)
I.M.D.B.

A secret government agency recruits a group of imprisoned supervillains to execute dangerous black ops missions in exchange for clemency, which inevitably leads to chaos.

Mediocre. Characters were fun but most of them were barely given any time; should have taken screen time away from Will Smith to round out the other characters. Action sequences were uninspired and didn't make use of the team's skills. All the fighting was 'they punch or shoot boring enemies for a bit'. Even Enchantress resorts to punching for a bit. Another uninspired, lackluster superhero movie.

7/10

See, I'm confused here because you say it's disappointing, lackluster, and mediocre but give it a 7/10 - A 7/10 makes me think it's pretty good. Just curious - Are you saying that despite it being mediocre, it was still fun? Or something?