When A Stranger Calls - remake (DVD)

When I initially reviewed When A Stranger Calls in its theatrical release, I deemed it reasonably OK, considering that it's a PG-13 remake aimed at jr. high girls.

Sometimes, with a few months' space in between, I will view a horror movie again and think somewhat differently ("It wasn't that bad," or, "What was I thinking!?"). In the case of revisiting When A Stranger Calls, I still have the same bland, neutral reaction, but I've gotta tell you, folks: It's even more boring the second time around.

Camilla Belle plays Jill Johnson, a chatty teen who's gone over her cell minutes and is being punished by pops. Her dad is making her spend the evening babysitting sound-asleep kids in a fabulous mansion with a full-fridge and a big screen TV. Wow. I need to be bad more often.

Of course, things aren't as hunky-dory as they first appear… you see, there's a maniacal slasher out in the shadows that ominously surround the isolated home. He's got his eye on Jill and his finger on the speed-dial button.

When Jill starts getting the eerie phone calls, she just thinks it's her friends goofing around, playing pranks on her. But after the nineteenth call or so, she starts to get suspicious. By this time, we're a good hour into the movie and nothing has really happened. Jill's pretty much been answering the phone, looking at the alarm system's readout, not checking on the two snoozing brats who (she believes) are upstairs, and getting leery of bumps in the night. Oh, yeah — and there's even a convenient cat who jumps out of nowhere.

While the film is indeed beautifully shot and has some gorgeous set pieces and locations, it's all very cold and static. As a heroine, Jill is neither strong (so you can root for her) nor vulnerable (so you can fear for her). As a killer, The Stranger is given no personality; things are so barely implied in this bloodless thriller, that you wind up feeling nothing for or about anyone.

The DVD includes commentary from Belle and her director, Simon West. She has never seen the original film, and according to West, "I have only watched the first 20 minutes; I've never seen the rest of it." That says everything about what's wrong with the When A Stranger Calls remake: it takes a 20-minute concept and stretches it into an hour and half without adding any notable nuances of its own.

The DVD also has a Sominex-like making-of featurette, and deleted scenes that are made, puzzlingly, into a music video. Sorry, but even dozens of quick cuts aren't going to hide the fact that this movie is snooze-fest through and through. There is also a writer's commentary that proves some of the things West added weren't all bad — but they are style-over-substance adds, like the beautiful opening scene that pans over the candy-colored carnival.

= = =

Reviewed by Staci Layne Wilson