The Manitou (DVD)

Tony Curtis has always had star power, so seeing The Manitou is just worth it for that reason alone. And I mean that: there is no other reason to see this me-generation dreck.

It’s about a tumor run amuck.

I’m not kidding.

Decades after The Manitou's release, young filmmaker Eli Roth was able to make a flesh-eating virus at least somewhat scary with Cabin Fever, but B-director William Girlder was way behind the game here – his previous fun-but-bad flicks included Three on a Meathook (1972), Asylum of Satan (1972), Abby (1974), Grizzly (1976) and Day of the Animals (1977).

Susan Strasberg, of the famed acting dynasty, has a thankless role as Karen Tandy, a woman with a medical problem. And a spiritual problem. And, well, just problems. She’s been admitted to the hospital because of a lump on the back her neck that’s growing exponentially. Nobody can figure it out – the doctors, the computers, nothing in today’s modern world can help poor Ms. Tandy (her last name, though terribly dated now, was uber-hip in the late 70s).

Then one day Karen’s boyfriend Harry (Tony Curtis) pays her a visit. Since he’s a fulltime tarot card reader, he immediately decides that the tumor is something more. Enter Wise Indian Mystic (Michael Ansara) who agrees. Enter prickly Literary and History Expert (Burgess Meredith), and they’re got a quorum: The growth is evil personified.

When the horror moments finally come, the little critter growing on Tandy’s neck is more silly wee-man than menacing medicine man. It’s almost funny, but not quite.

The DVD doesn’t include any additional release material (unless you count movie trailers as something extra-special). Even if you’re a Graham Masterton fan, as I am (although I have not read his source novel of the same name), The Manitou is still best left to fester on the shelf.

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