Last Seen Contemporary Movie

[Amaltheaunicorn2023]

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[Sculpt]

Dracula Untold (2014)
5/10

A rather tedious version of the Dracula story. The story harkens back to a flavor of the original Brad Stoker novel. Dracula is Vlad the Impaler, who was as tribute to the Ottoman Turks in the 15th Century by his royal father to be trained a soldier in the Sultan's elite Janissary corps. The exposition is he became a feared military leader, known for impaling the conquered. He gives up these ways and returns to Transylvania to rule as prince.

He has a family and the Turks come back and demand his son as tribute to the military, just as Vlad had been. As his kingdom is outmatched, he turns to a vampire in a cave to give him powers to save the day. He can take on the powers for three days and avoid becoming a permanent vampire if he's able to resist drinking blood.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Cabin Girl 2023 ★★★

I would like to know what the budget on this one was. I also like being surprised by these low budget horror affairs.

A van girl streamer (people call her an influencer, but we never see her hock stuff) moves into a cabin after an accident. I'm sure that won't come back to bite her in the tush.

Things starts heating up when her new dream home – then again, streamers and influencers always end up with stuff they totally love, wink – turns out to be the former home to a supposed witch. So get our share our witchypoo possession and small town collusion. All leading up to a nice twist with a predictable red herring that, in the end, does not completely work out the way I thought he did.

All sounds pretty by the numbers and sometimes, it kind of is. But as a style exercise, it worked for me. Rose Lane Sanfilippo made for a believable vlogger, Sam Ingraffia fits the role of the small town doctor and Austin Scott does a good job as the boy with the heart of gold.

For those willing to sit through low budget trash in order to then stumble across this stuff.

Killer Book Club 2023 ★★½

Proving once again that hype and Netflix don't match. When Netflix hypes a horror, it's (usually) time to get sceptical. I have a soft spot for non-English spoken horror in general and – since Rec and Voces – Spanish horror in particular. So I dove in and gave it a try.

Killer Book Club is an all in all okay style exercise that borrows (very) freely from source material like Scream and I know what you did last summer. From the premise to the tone to the character. There's a shot of Nando that reminded me of Ryan Philippe and another gives away a bit of a Skeet Ulrich-vibe. Also, the book signing. Am I the only one who saw that and immediately JLH go “What are you waiting for, huh?!”

Also, what's with the text dubbing? The original langauge is Spanish, the dialogues are in Spanish and yet, for some reason, all the texts and even the headlines in a clearly Spanish newspaper are in English. I don't know what's more annoying: the pandering to the more lazy part of the audience or the fact that for a lot of people (the ones willing to listen to a language they do not necessarily understand), this will come across as half assed.

As I said, it's a style exercise, so it follows the tropes of the meta horror, with the self referential lines and what not. So we get the characters turning on each other like in I know, the Scream-style of communicating (at least they are now apping instead of calling).

So a lot of it is ripped off with just a tiny few tweeks here and there. That said, a style exercise can have its merits and the merits of this film are a decent pace and good kills with a good division. It has some good gore and Professor MeToo and the killer(s) get the most gnarly kill.

(Only) for slasher fans looking to expand their collection. And for fans of Spanish horror. No Voces, but kind of fun in its own way.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice 1992 ★★½

This sequel picks up at the logical place, in the aftermath of the original COTC. With the press swarming the small town of Gatlin right after the evens and a nice excuse for a few shots of police discovering decomposing bodies.

No sign of neither Linda Hamilton (obviously) not Peter Horton, but now our lead is Terence Knox (from Tour of Duty) as a down on his luck reporter stumbling across a story. He finds out what's going on while at the same time hooking up with their landlady. And at the same time, he reconciles with his grumpy estranged son who jsut so happens to mekt the heart of the local hot girl. What can I say? Nineties movies were convenient that way.

It does not take long for things to pick up. Isaac and Malakai may be gone but Mordekai is more than ready to pick up as the next in command. Especially when joining forces with Michael, who just happens to be the son of the love intrest. All making for a neat little package. www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqLijhBRddo

While the special effects are okay, I cannot help but think that the kills (and the ensuing effects) nearly all have a touch of the cartoony to them, making them less scary and more funny. I mean, one of the characters literally has her house fall on top of her. The only way it could be more Roadrunner-y would be if someone had written ACME on the front door.

But the opening kill with the reporters is kind of cool, Terence Knox is always reliable and the rest of the cast is not too terrible either.

Two and a half stars for now. Maybe a rewatch will win me over for the third one.

Return to Sender 2022 ★★½

Over all entertaining mood piece about a recovering alcoholic who is tortured by... Amazon? Is Bezos more evil than we thought?

All jokes aside, it is a bit odd to see someone so scared by unsollicited products. Especially since they are related to neither her recovery or some paranoid conspiracy plot. To me, those are more odd than scary. All the more kudos to the lead for keeping me invested.

The ending was a bit out of nowhere and odd, though it did make for a bit of a scary moment with the audio.

Two and a half stars.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Dylan’s New Nightmare 2023 ★★★★½

With this level of storytelling, you could very well deliver an amazing, exciting full length feature.

The dream sequences were scary again and this Freddy was a great blend between the meanness from the first movies and the cheesy jokes from the latter. And Miko Hughes is pretty god here.

Sooner or later, a studio has to see the soundness of this investment and threw a few million at these people.

[DeadbeatAtDawn]

3 Dead Trick or Treaters, 2016. 8/10



Director: Torin Langen

[Amaltheaunicorn2023]

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[FryeDwight]

LIGHTNING IN A BOTTLE (1993). Not bad Lifetime film of a woman involved in a car accident after leaving a party-the driver of the other car dies but tests found He was drunk, but were there other circumstances? To make matters more confusing, the woman in the accident becomes friends with the widow of the deceased.

Usually, Lynda Carter gets called on normally for her looks (and She is quite lovely here), but she's pretty good as a woman who has doubts and really wants to do the right thing. I mainly watched this for Dee Wallace who is great as the grieving friend. And things kept moving along enough for Me to stay interested in the outcome.

Decent score by Les Baxter (who did a lot of AIP films, many of them the Poe pictures)and Lynda sings over the closing credits. **1/2

[DeadbeatAtDawn]

Night of the Caregiver, 2023. 4/10

Director: Joe Cornet




Pollen, 2023. 4/10

Director: D.W. Medoff

[DeadbeatAtDawn]

Mona Lisa and the Blood Moon, 2021. 7/10

Director: Ana Lily Amirpour