Media Scanners: "House of the Dead"

Media Scanners: "House of the Dead"
A roundup of critic quotes on this week's new horror release.
By:horror
Updated: 10-12-2003

When new horror movies are released, many horror fans are curious about what reviewers think. This update will give you a brief snapshot of what some of the top film critics in America are saying about this week's new horror release, "House of the Dead".

"The wisp of a plot that has been tacked onto this shoot-and-score framework is giggle-inducing for all the wrong reasons." - Ty Burr, Boston Globe

"Do you suppose we can lay movies as bad as "House of the Dead" at the feet of George A. Romero, whose Western Pennsylvania-based "Living Dead" trilogy inspired a zombie genre that won't stop? Nah, he's too nice a guy." - Ed Blank, Pittsburgh Tribune-Review

"Cutting around frantically in a vain attempt to stir up some energy, the director, Uwe Boll, drops in occasional images from the video game itself, as if he were subliminally trying to remind ticket buyers why they showed up in the first place." - Dave Kehr, The New York Times

"The point, evidently, is to drag kids out of the house simply to inspire them to rush back home to their Xboxes as soon as the movie ends." - Elizabeth Weitzman, New York Daily News

"The movie wasn't shown to critics ahead of opening day, but it's a wonder it didn't just go straight to video...Imagine how boring it is to watch someone else play a video game. Now imagine doing that for an hour and a half, and that's what you have here." - Christy Lemire, Associated Press

"Despite a good-looking cast and all the required "don't go into the woods alone" scenes dictated by the genre, the end result is as vapid as a model and as lifeless as a decapitated zombie." - Misha Davenport, The Chicago Sun-Times

"[Director Ewe] Boll also uses lots of 360-degree spin moves and super-slo-mo flying bullets, making him the last director to jump on the "Matrix" bandwagon. The zombies in "House of the Dead" aren't even interesting to see shot or decapitated. They are brainless, gross and move at a lumbering pace -- just like the movie." - Sean P. Means, The Salt Lake Tribune

"You'd be hard-pressed to find a duller, more incompetent - and less scary - flick with cheesier effects in a remainder bin crammed with direct-to-video horrors." - Lou Lumenick, The New York Post

Latest User Comments:
I agree with them all, and I still liked the movie. It's just too damn funny not to like.
10-12-2003 by avenger00soul discuss