George A. Romero Presents: Deadtime Stories, Vol 2 DVD Movie Review
George A. Romero Presents: Deadtime Stories, Vol 2 DVD Movie Review
George A. Romero, Jeff Monahan, and Matt Walsh.
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"Now I lay me down to rest, but there's a goblin on my chest. He's gray and ugly and very gory and he wants to tell me a deadtime story," intones horror host (and exec producer) George A. Romero by way of intro to this abysmal anthology.
I love George, but he's no Rod Serling. Heck, he's not even Elvira or The Cryptkeeper. Looking less-than-lively, the Deadtime host rocks his glasses and not much else. Saddled with groaners like the one quoted above, Romero presents three short — though time is relative when it comes to these interminable bores — stories.
In the first presentation, The Gorge, a young couple and their buddy go exploring in deep, dark cave with walls and rock formations that are only a slight improvement over old episodes of Star Trek and Land of the Lost (in one unintentionally hilarious hero moment, one of the spelunkers struggles to lift an obviously lightweight "boulder" off the crushed leg of his comrade). Of course, the falling rocks and blocked exits that plague the terrified trio are not merely the result of unhappy accidents… someone (or something!) wants them trapped. The clunky claustrophobic cinematography, coupled with the sorry score and awful acting, had me skipping ahead to story #2 in no time.
My GPA was not much improved by watching the college-set ghost story, On Sabbath Hill, but at least I didn't score an Incomplete. Made it all the way through. This fable, while not much better on production value, script or… well, anything… did have some decent locations, changes of scenery, more gore, and was a fairly classic tale at least offering some comfort in its familiarity.
On Sabbath Hill is the story of a college professor who's a bit of a playboy even though he far from charismatic, knows a little too much about the Third Reich, and is married with two young children. Those aren't his only "children" — he's got two more. One is his busty young student, and the other is the fetus she's carrying. She tells him the bad news, right after a recess romp. He tells her in no uncertain terms to get rid of it. He also expects her to keep a perfect post-abortion attendance record. She does both, but in ways he never expected. The ending is ridiculous, over the top (in a bad way), and baffling to boot… but at least On Sabbath Hill was somewhat watchable. I give it a C.
I didn't bother with the third story, Dust. Something about dust from Mars.
Trailers are included for both volumes of Deadtime Stories as well as some action flicks with names like Blitz, Elephant White, Sacrifice and Trust. Other than that, there are no extras (like, something to explain, "Why, George, why?!").
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Reviewed by Staci Layne Wilson